6 Encouraging Verses to Overcome FEAR

Hi friends,

I'm writing about overcoming fear today. Here's a bit of it, then click the link to read the rest of it on my "Living Single" blog...

Increasingly, there are reports of shootings or bombs going off—in airports, cafés, schools, even churches. And it happens on the other side of the globe or right in your own hometown.

Understandably, that kind of news can leave some people feeling fearful or anxious.

Maybe your worries are of a different sort. You’re afraid that the money will run out before the month is over. Or you’re fearful of flying in an airplane. Could it be that you’re afraid that you’ll never find real and lasting love—or you’re anxious that the relationship you have will disappear?

Know this: You may feel fearful at times, but you do not have to live in fear.

You have a choice. I have a choice: Will I live by fear or by faith?

Click the link to read more...

http://www.drjamesdobson.org/blogs/living-single-blog/living-single/2016/08/05/6-encouraging-verses-to-overcome-fear

Hope and Encouragement for Today's Christian Singles

Hi friends!

Just wanted to let you know that I also write a blog for singles of all ages called "Living Single."

Check out some of the latest posts to help you navigate dating and this crazy thing called life. I think you're going to enjoy them!

How to Have a Great First Date: Essential Do’s and Don’ts

Living Empowered: Discovering the Power of God in Everyday Life

Low Self Esteem? 3 Keys to Recalibrating Your Thought Life

6 Reasons Why You’re Not Married Yet

If you'd like, share links from "Living Single" and "A New Day Café" with friends and your social media.

For me, it's all about helping people to know God better, and providing hope and encouragement to help people live with more joy, hope and peace.

Blessings,
Jackie M. Johnson

Confidence Builders: The Truth About Who You Really Are

We all experience times when we lack confidence and wonder if we will ever be "enough".

What if I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, strong enough? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t measure up?  

What if…what if…what if? 

That’s a whole lot of fear and worry we were never meant to bear, and it can be exhausting to live that way.  

Thankfully, you don't have to.  You have choices.  

You can choose to stay in an anxious place, dwelling on yourself, and what you can or cannot do in your own strength. Or, you can choose to believe and live the truth about what God says about who you really are.

What does God say about your true identity? Here are just a few things:

 

You are… 

   accepted by God – Romans 15:7
   loved dearly – Colossians 3:12
   chosen - Ephesians 1:11
   blessed – Matthew 5:2-12
   a friend - John 15:15
   the Bride of Christ – Revelation 19:7
   a Child of God - John 1:12
   His workmanship - Ephesians 2:10
   a Citizen of heaven - Philippians 3:20

the Light of the world - Matthew 5:14

   His co-worker - 2 Corinthians 6:1
   victorious - 1 Corinthians 15:57

   Now there’s something to ponder.  

 

Instead of relying on what others say or finding confidence in yourself, you can build “God-confidence” by remembering that He can do what you cannot.  

 

God is at work in you and is working through you; you don’t have to do this hard and messy life on your own. 

 

One of the most memorable characters in the Bible lacked confidence. Remember the scene at the burning bush? God called to Moses and asked him to go to Pharaoh, the head of Egypt, to get the people of Israel of out that country.  

 

Instead of thinking “God can” he fretted “Can I?” and basically said, “Please send someone else.” (Ex. 4:13).

 

He felt totally unqualified; he wasn’t eloquent enough and was slow of speech (4:10).  Moses wasn’t looking at what God could do, he was fearful of what he was not.  

 

Today we read that story and wonder why Moses was so uncertain. I mean, in that dialog alone God showed him three miracles: a bush that burns but does not burn up, a staff that turns into a snake and back again, and Moses’ own hand that God turned leprous and then back again.  

 

God even said, “I will be with you…” (3:12).  

 

After all that, you’d think Moses would believe God and not be afraid. But he doubted again and again. Despite all that happened, God used him mightily.  

 

When we feel ill-equipped or inadequate, that’s the time to totally rely on God and what He can do through us. 

Things change for the better when we know—and believe—the One who loves us most and trust Him.  “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure” (2 Samuel 22:33).  

 

So immerse yourself in God’s truth and love, and you will find insecurity fading and confidence building. 

 

When we see with the eyes of Christ, we see who we really are.

 

Encouragement for Today's Christian Single

 

Whether you’re single or married, we all need hope and encouragement. Today, here’s some hope for single readers of all ages.

In addition to this blog, A NEW DAY CAFE, I also write a blog called LIVING SINGLE on the Family Talk website of Dr. James Dobson. Here are links to some recent posts.

I hope you are encouraged and find joy--and renewed hope--after reading these posts.  

6 Ways for Singles to Wait Well

5 Lies That Keep You from Real Rest

Faith, Finances and Finding Wild Hope

News about Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ recent engagement

 

Be well. Be blessed. Trust God. Find joy!

Jackie

 

 

LIVING SINGLE: A New Blog for Singles of All Ages

Hi friends!

 

Just wanted to let you in on some exciting news…

 

In addition to blogging here at A New Day Café, I’ve also started blogging on singles topics on the Living Single blog on Dr. James Dobson’s website.

 

The Living Single blog offers encouragement, insight and hope for singles of all ages. Check out some recent posts:  

 

After a Breakup: Why It’s So Hard to “Let it Go”

 

6 Reasons Why You’re Not Married Yet (plus positive ideas about what to do in the meantime)

 

Real Life Love Stories: Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s Story

 

Real Life Love Stories: How Ryan Dobson and Laura’s Story (Ryan is Dr. James Dobson’s son)

 

Enjoy!

 

Of course, I will still be blogging here at A New Day Café for readers worldwide.

 

More good news: One of my books, "Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times" will be translated into the Chinese language. Today, it is available in English and Portuguese. May this book of HOPE be a blessing to many people.

 

Take care!

Jackie

Single at Christmas: Help When You Feel Alone

 

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” So says the popular Christmas carol. But for many singles, the holiday season can be one of the loneliest times of the year.

If you are not in a relationship, you may long for someone’s hand to hold as you shop, ice skate, look at Christmas decorations or sit by a cozy fire. Or, you may live far from family and friends, and can’t afford to fly home this year. Most of your friends have already left to visit their families, and here you are.

Alone.

Sure, there may be people bustling around you at the stores or coffee house. It’s some comfort to see others at holiday parties or church events. But something inside is still amiss. You long to have a deeper connection, positive and loving with someone of the opposite sex.

And yet, here it is: another Christmas alone.

Our mood can change when we change our perspective, and start feeding it words of truth and hope. I love the fact that we celebrate “God WITH us” which is what Emmanuel means. So in reality, you are never alone. The One that loves you most, The One who created you, God Almighty, is with you…right now…wherever you are reading this on the planet today.

You may be in France or Finland, Brazil or Boston, USA, but wherever you live, you are never out of the reach of God’s love for you. He cares about you; he is your protector and provider. He listens. When you talk to him in prayer, like you would speak with a friend, he hears it all—and sees your needs.

This Christmas, give God the desires of your heart. Tell Him how you feel and what you need. Ask God to fill your loneliness with a heart of joy as you…

Seek to help others. Service brings your heart joy! Find one small thing you can do to help someone in need. Lucy’s advice to Charlie Brown still hold true today: help someone else and you feel good too.

Adopt a pet. Many homeless dogs and cats need love and attention.

Call a friend or family member. Be the one to reach out and connect—you may just be surprised.

Get out of the house. Sometimes you simply need to be around other people and not just “virtual” connections on social media. We need face time with others!

Pray. Talk to God. You don’t have to use big words or long sentences. Just talk in a real way, in a heartfelt way….and He will listen. God always answers prayers. We just don’t know how or when. The answer may be yes, no or wait. But know that God wants the best for you!

So, to all my readers—single or married, young or seasoned, around the block or across the globe…

I wish you a very Merry Christmas and new hope for this bright new year!

Jackie M. Johnson

Getting Over a Breakup: 12 Essential Steps to Finding Joy

 

 

Relationship breakups are often messy, baffling, and just plain hard. Whether you’ve been together for a few years or a few months, you may be feeling sad, angry, confused, rejected, or betrayed. With myriad emotions swirling in your heart and head, it’s important to know that how you deal with endings—don’t—will determine your heart healing and your future love relationships.

 

Some mistakenly believe that “time heals all wounds” or you just have to “get over it.” Others ignore the pain thinking it will just go away. Maybe you’ve tried to soothe the sorrow and fill the void in unhealthy ways: with excessive eating, drinking, shopping, or partying. But you end up stuffed, sloshed, broke, and tired—and you still have a broken heart. When the party’s over, or when the ice cream carton is empty, how do you get past the pain?

 

If you’re stuck in your story, and you can’t seem to let go, maybe it’s time for a heart healing journey—from sadness to joy, and from your darkest night to your brightest days.

 

Psalm 18:28 says, “My God turns my darkness into light.” When you embark on a night into day journey to deal with your heartbreak pain you’re on your way to a bright new beginning.

 

Remember, you are never alone and you will not stay in this painful place forever—God is with you and you’re just passing through.

 

When you deal with your breakup pain—instead of avoiding or ignoring it—you can find new hope, courage and joy, and be better prepared to find the healthy and lasting love you truly desire. Often a period of adjustment is needed to go from being a couple to a single again, from being a “we” to a “me.” But you can get through it!

 

Here are 12 essential things you can do to heal your heart and change your life:

 

1. Have heart boundaries. First, stabilize the situation. Just like a physical injury, your heart needs care and recovery time. A broken arm is set in a cast, and “heart boundaries” allow you to separate from the source of pain and protect you from further injury. For instance, you may need to be away from the other person, at least for a time, so you can heal. Don’t keep having post-breakup talks. Don’t call, email or text him just to see how he is, and don’t drive by his house or workplace; it’s hands off. It can be extremely difficult, like withdrawal from a drug. It feels awful and lonely and different, but that’s part of the process—the kind of hurt that heals.
2. Put his stuff away. Get rid of photos or things that remind you of him. Or, box up and store it if you’re not ready to deal with things yet.
3. Get the comfort and support you need. Let yourself cry. Spend time in prayer and pour out your heart to God in a journal or notebook. Talk with trusted friends or family members who will listen and be supportive. Find a good Christian counselor if you need to. Nurture your senses: go for a walk and see the beauty of nature, enjoy the smell of fresh cut flowers, the taste of your favorite comfort foods (in moderation), the sound of relaxing music, or the comforting touch of a hug from a really good friend.
4. Learn from it. Ask God what He wants you to learn from this breakup. What are the “treasures in darkness” and “riches stored in secret places” (Isaiah 45:3) God has for you at this time, this season, of your life?
5. Process emotional pain – It may feel like the midnight hour, but even in our darkest times, God provides night lights. With the light Christ provides we can be encouraged, equipped and empowered to journey through the heart healing process and find restoration and transformation.
1. Deal and feel. In order to heal you have to deal with your emotions. As you feel your feelings, grieve your losses and surrender to God this relationship that didn’t work out you will find release.  
2. Grieving losses is key. You may have incurred loss of love, the loss of affection, and the death of your hopes and dreams with this person. You can “drain the pain” by acknowledging your loss, asking God and others for help, letting yourself be sad, and recognizing not only what you’ve lost but also what remains.
6. Forgiveness is a major way to release breakup pain—forgiving others and yourself. It’s helpful to remember that forgiveness is not forgetting. It’s not condoning what happened. It’s taking them off your hook, and putting them on God’s hook for justice. Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge...” because God will avenge and repay. Forgiveness is not a one-time event, and you may not feel differently right away. An act of your will, forgiving the other person releases you, and leads to freedom and peace.
7. Choose to let go. Often it feels like we cling tightly to the past just like the brown crunchy leaves that cling to barren tree limbs in winter. Their season has passed, yet they still don’t let go. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to blow a fresh breeze into our lives and enable us to do what we can not do. As you release your grip on what you are holding to so tightly, and replace it with Jesus’ unchanging truth), He will restore your weary, wayward or willful heart.
8. Align your thinking with God’s truth. Sometimes your thought life can get hijacked on the Highway of Hope. Rein in your wandering mind and find the power you need to do hard things with God’s truth. The Bible, the Word of God, is a guard rail to keep you safe and on the right path. 2 Corinthians 2:5 reminds us that “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Keep reminding yourself of the truth, because truth combats lies like light overcomes darkness.
9. Awaken Hope – The first light of day helps you to see better with your eyes, and the light of God’s truth lets you “see” with your heart. You gain insight and understanding about your situation, about God, and about yourself. It’s a turning point in your healing journey.
10. Experiencing God’s love. After a breakup a few years ago I learned that: God is all-wise, and I can trust Him even when I do not understand (Proverbs 3:5, 6). He is not withholding something good; He is protecting and saving me for His best (Proverbs 16:9, NASB). We were created for His purposes, not the other way around. But the best news is that God is near, and loves you more than you will ever know. He is at work healing your broken heart. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
11. Rebuild your self esteem. After being rejected (or rejecting someone else), the landscape of your heart can get worn away. Like erosion of soil after a rainstorm, erosion in our emotions can come from another’s constant criticism or negative words. To overcome emotional erosion, plant seeds of truth in your life. When the roots grow and go deep into God you will be more stable, strong, and built up in your true identity. Instead of putting yourself down, build yourself up with truth; watch your negative self talk. Remember, losing at love does not make you a “loser.” You are worth being loved well.
12. Move forward – The darkness and pain of the past eventually fades and you begin to move forward into a brand new day. You wake up to the rest of your life and learn to make healthier choices next time. (for more about all of these points, see my book, “When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty” by Jackie M. Johnson)

There is life after loss, joy after sorrow, and peace after pain. There is hope. One day it really will be okay. One Day. Until then, live in the light. And keep on walking. When love ends, healing can begin.

 

The rest of your life is waiting—and the best days are ahead.

 



Resilience: Bouncing Back After A Breakup

Breakups can be difficult. When I was younger it seemed that every broken relationship I had with a guy was completely devastating. Back then, I didn’t have the emotional resources to handle the situation. After one particularly sad ending, I remember how hard it was to even eat. Lifting a fork to my mouth seemed like a Herculean effort.

I felt as if I was tree in a windstorm, tossed about an bending precariously close to the ground. The good news is that in time, the emotional storm ended. Gray clouds rolled away and revealed the hopeful light of the sun again. Hope returned!

Recovering from rejection takes time and the truth. Learning the truth about your situation, who you are in Christ and how much God loves you are keys to healing. You are loved, and you are worth being loved WELL.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back after hard times. Do you allow the tragedies of life to destroy you, or can you learn from them and move forward with new courage and hope that God will provide for you? Conside these ideas:

Accept the fact that life will never be the same again. You are different, the situation is different. In time, healing will come and you will grow to be a stronger and better person.

Express your feelings appropriately. Many people suppress their emotions and try to push them away. But like a beach ball shoved under the water, your emotions will pop back up again and they may come back up in a place and time you least expect it. Start by naming what you feel and letting yourself feel it (with yourself, a counselor or trusted friend). Like “I am angry…I am hurt…I am sad…”

Grieve the loss. Death, divorce, breakups, and the loss of a dream are some of the most devastating situations in life. Sometimes you just need to cry and cry out to God. He is always there with open arms to comfort and heal.

Look up with hope. Although it may not seem like it, your stormy times will end. We can have peace because God has a plan. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring but we know the One who knows. Never doubt the goodness of God.

Give God time. Healing comes step-by-step. Each day brings you closer, whether it’s through a friend’s phone call or a new truth learned in a book you've read. Some well-meaning people may say things like, “Get over it” or “Get on with your life.” But you can know that God has you on his timetable and His timing is perfect!

Learning resilience, recovering, and starting over is about letting go of what we think should happen and when it should happen. It’s total dependence on God to bring us back to wholeness. Healing will come. You will survive–and in time, thrive!

Lord, give me the strength to be resilient. May you bring growth from the pain, order from the chaos and abundance out of my lack. Fill me with Your love and joy again.