Confidence Builders: The Truth About Who You Really Are

We all experience times when we lack confidence and wonder if we will ever be "enough".

What if I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, strong enough? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t measure up?  

What if…what if…what if? 

That’s a whole lot of fear and worry we were never meant to bear, and it can be exhausting to live that way.  

Thankfully, you don't have to.  You have choices.  

You can choose to stay in an anxious place, dwelling on yourself, and what you can or cannot do in your own strength. Or, you can choose to believe and live the truth about what God says about who you really are.

What does God say about your true identity? Here are just a few things:

 

You are… 

   accepted by God – Romans 15:7
   loved dearly – Colossians 3:12
   chosen - Ephesians 1:11
   blessed – Matthew 5:2-12
   a friend - John 15:15
   the Bride of Christ – Revelation 19:7
   a Child of God - John 1:12
   His workmanship - Ephesians 2:10
   a Citizen of heaven - Philippians 3:20

the Light of the world - Matthew 5:14

   His co-worker - 2 Corinthians 6:1
   victorious - 1 Corinthians 15:57

   Now there’s something to ponder.  

 

Instead of relying on what others say or finding confidence in yourself, you can build “God-confidence” by remembering that He can do what you cannot.  

 

God is at work in you and is working through you; you don’t have to do this hard and messy life on your own. 

 

One of the most memorable characters in the Bible lacked confidence. Remember the scene at the burning bush? God called to Moses and asked him to go to Pharaoh, the head of Egypt, to get the people of Israel of out that country.  

 

Instead of thinking “God can” he fretted “Can I?” and basically said, “Please send someone else.” (Ex. 4:13).

 

He felt totally unqualified; he wasn’t eloquent enough and was slow of speech (4:10).  Moses wasn’t looking at what God could do, he was fearful of what he was not.  

 

Today we read that story and wonder why Moses was so uncertain. I mean, in that dialog alone God showed him three miracles: a bush that burns but does not burn up, a staff that turns into a snake and back again, and Moses’ own hand that God turned leprous and then back again.  

 

God even said, “I will be with you…” (3:12).  

 

After all that, you’d think Moses would believe God and not be afraid. But he doubted again and again. Despite all that happened, God used him mightily.  

 

When we feel ill-equipped or inadequate, that’s the time to totally rely on God and what He can do through us. 

Things change for the better when we know—and believe—the One who loves us most and trust Him.  “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure” (2 Samuel 22:33).  

 

So immerse yourself in God’s truth and love, and you will find insecurity fading and confidence building. 

 

When we see with the eyes of Christ, we see who we really are.

 

Standing Strong in Tough Times

To stand strong in challenging times, we need a solid foundation. When we ask, God will build into our lives support, so when the winds of change and challenge blow we won’t topple like the fragile houses of the Three Little Pigs. We will stand strong. 

Consider what happens when builders are constructing a skyscraper. In order for the building to be tall and not tumble, the workers first dig a foundation and then pound steel reinforcing rods called pylons deep into the earth. Concrete is then poured into the shaft with the pylons for a super-strength hold.

The same can be true in your life—as you grow deeper, you grow stronger in your faith. As you immerse yourself in the ways and wisdom of God, the reinforced truth, like pylons of Hope, Trust, Courage and Faith, help you become stronger. So when your life is spiraling downward or you’re overcome with loneliness, you will be able to withstand more readily the gale-force winds of hard times and pain.

Steel upon steel, story upon story a structure is built. Likewise, God’s Word tells us that hope comes step by step as “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3,

There is hope ahead. And we’re on the way to finding it.

Excerpted from PowerfulPrayers for Challenging Times by Jackie M. Johnson

After a Breakup: Dealing with Anger

Samantha was mad. As she drove home from talking with Jesse, her boyfriend of three years, she replayed over and over in her mind what he’d said only moments before. Samantha casually asked him if he could ever see them marrying each other. Jesse paused, looked up at her and said, “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t really know you.”

He doesn’t know me—after three years?!

Samantha was shocked, hurt, and angry. Yet despite her feelings she calmly tried to talk with Jesse about it, but he didn’t want to engage in conversation so Samantha left.

But then, Samantha was always the one who wanted to connect and Jesse didn’t. She couldn’t count the number of times he’d shut down and say nothing when the topic got too deep for him. He didn’t want to share his feelings and, it appeared, he didn’t want to share his life with her either. Samantha and Jesse broke up shortly after that revealing conversation.

She had good reason to be angry. She wanted more conversationally and emotionally from Jesse and he wasn’t willing to give it to her. Added to that was the fact that they’d been together for three years. Samantha had invested her heart with this man and got a zero percent return.

We all get angry once in a while and that’s normal. But when we ignore it, hide it, or express anger in out of control ways to destructive extremes then it’s a problem.

Someone once told me that feelings are “indicators,” but God’s truth leads. You may feel angry, but don’t give in to rage, hostility, violence, cruelty, or physical or verbal abuse. Ephesians 4:26, 27 reads, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Jesus Christ displayed a range of emotions during his thirty-three years on Earth. Fully God and fully man, He wasn’t afraid to reveal his heart as he wept over the death of his friend Lazarus. He surprised the spiritual leaders of His day when He was compassionate to everyone—men, women, children, tax collectors and prostitutes. Jesus was also passionate about justice, even if it meant a display of righteous anger when he overturned the tables of the money changers when they turned the temple area, a sacred place, into a selling floor for animals. (John 2:13-17)

Here are some other key verses that can help keep anger in check:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31,32

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19, 20

“Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23 (New Living Translation)

There are also some practical things you can do to manage your anger wisely:

For instance, you can write an anger letter expressing to God about what happened during your breakup and/or since then, and how you feel about it. It can even include things that happened during the time you dated, if needed. Pour out your heart—what you’re mad about and why.

Or, you could write a different kind of anger letter. This exercise helps you to get the release you need, but you never ever mail the letter. Picture the person who broke up with you sitting across the table from you as you write. If you could say anything you wanted to him or her right now, what would you say? If you could say anything to them in a Christ-like way, what would you say? It’s up to you how much to include.

Basically, the purpose of the letter it to get the emotion out of you and release it. No one else will ever see what you write and you can feel safe to express yourself, vent, and be free of the tangled emotions inside of you. When you’re done, you can choose to burn or shred it if you’d like, but never (never!) mail it.

Write an anger action plan. In the midst of a heated conversation, sometimes you may need to leave so you (or the other person) can cool off and address your issues later. When you need to think through why you’re irritated, this can be helpful. Make a list of what happened, if you need to respond (you may not), how it makes you feel, and some potential ways you can respond. Then, after you’ve reviewed your options you can choose what to do. It will be helpful to pray before you begin. For example:

What happened? Tony constantly cuts me off before I can finish a sentence.

Do I need to respond? Yes, I feel like I need to stand up for myself.

How does this make me feel? I feel angry when Tony doesn’t let me finish what I’m saying. I feel like what he has to say is more important than what I want to say. I feel diminished and unimportant.

Options to responding: When Tony cuts in when I’m talking, I could say, “Could I please finish my sentence?” or “I wasn’t done yet.” Or, I could spend less time with Tony. Or. . .?

There are other ways to manage your anger too. Some people find it helpful to get punch pillows, talk to a trusted friend, pull out the Bible and read, journal their thoughts, go workout, or get outside for a long walk or bike ride. A good hearty laugh or getting some humor into your life can advance your heart toward joy again. In other words, find activities that relieve stress for you.

Your new day will come.

A Trip to the Beach, A Lesson in Patience

“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…”
(Psalm 37:7)

Life often has unexpected twists and turns, and we need patience, persistence and staying power. Thankfully, God gives guidance to help us stay on the right track. Our job is to listen and obey Him.

Yeah, easier said than done.

But I learned a lesson in patience—and God’s interesting ways of guiding our lives—on a day trip to the beach a few years ago.

Here’s the story…

On the western shore of Lake Michigan, along Wisconsin’s coastline, is Harrington Beach. One sunny Saturday I decided to drive there which, according to the map, should’ve taken less than two hours from my home in Milwaukee.

As I drove along, I finally spotted the lake on my right and thought I’d be there shortly. But suddenly the highway turned inland and soon I was driving past farmland and bright red barns. It didn’t seem like I was going the right direction since my car was headed AWAY from the lake.

This can’t possible be the way. I want to go to the beach, yet I’m driving inland past farms!

So I stopped at a gas station and asked the attendant if this was the right way to Harrington Beach, and he assured me it was. While the road had twists and bends, it would eventually lead to my destination.

Hmmm.

I guess I just needed to follow his directions and wait for the right exit. I pressed on.

Finally, I saw a road sign that pointed to the correct exit and arrive at the beach parking lot. It was a wooded area and I still couldn’t see any sand or water.

I parked my car, walked through a short wooded path, and down a few wooden stairs. As I descended, I looked up and saw most amazing expanse of sand and water I’d ever seen at a Midwestern beach! Ah! To my right and left were miles of soft sand that beckoned me to walk.

Waves crashed on the shore, sea gulls cawed, and a gentle breeze blew off the lake and cooled me. At last!

It was quite an ordeal to get there—and a test of faith. But my loving God knew the entire time I’d get to that the beach, even as I drove on winding roads that seemed to be going in the opposite direction. He knew the way; I did not.

I learned a big lesson in patience that day.

If I know the One who is leading me, I can trust I will eventually get to my destinations in life—and it gives me strength to endure delay even when the journey doesn’t look how I think it should.

Trust on. Have faith. Even when you cannot see the way.

After the Heart Holiday -- Now What?

Okay so the heart holiday is over. You made it! Here are a few parting thoughts about Love…

Perhaps you’ve heard this expression: “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.” So said Oliver Wendell Holmes.

I believe the same is true of love. The heart, once expanded to encompass the breadth of love, is never the same again.

A nice idea, you may say. But what if your life has turned out differently than you’d planned? You had love—-once-—and lost it. Or, you’ve never even experienced it at all. Being single at this stage of your life was not your plan, yet here you are, on your own.

Unlike the board game called LIFE, where the path meanders through key life events like graduation, jobs, marriage, kids and retirement, you never got your little red convertible with a husband in the seat next to yours, or a bunch of kids in the back.

Either way, we need to remember that God is still sovereign. That means He rules and reigns; He’s in control even when life seems out of control—or seemingly empty. Just because the road of real life took a different turn, does not mean God has forgotten about you. He is still with you on the path--leading, guiding, loving.

Every step of the way.

Here’s a good way to look at it. “The sovereign Lord will not be thwarted by ill motives, wayward plans, or the scheming of the unrighteous. He rules over the universe, and he even uses evil to accomplish his plan,” says Dan Allender.

“But God’s sovereignty is not an invitation to passivity. Instead, it is a call to wise and risky creativity. We must plan, and he will direct.”

Okay. We must plan, and pray, and God will direct.

So, on this Tuesday and for the rest of our lives we can choose to walk forward by faith.I, for one, choose to love. To be kind. To care about others. To serve and give. To protect and be protected. And more.

Today I choose to...

Love bravely.
Love courageously.
Love anyways!

Will you?

New Beginnings

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.” – Seneca


Life is about endings and new beginnings, but I don’t always like it. Sure, some endings are necessary. You have to leave high school to get to college. You have to leave college to get a job. You may join the military, get married, move to another city, or start a new business. Things end and new things begin. I get it.

But the hard thing is when endings happen that you didn’t choose. You didn’t want it, and you sure don’t like it.

It could be disappointing—not a big deal, but something that annoys you—like being late for a meeting because of road construction, or finding out that the guy you met over the 4th of July forgot to tell you he has a girlfriend.

Or it could be big-time discouraging, like an unexpected bankruptcy or a miscarriage. Maybe you’ve had a messy relationship breakup, a death in the family, or a divorce. Or, your job suddenly ended because the economy tanked. Could it be that you’ve lost money in the stock market and your 401k now feels more like a 201k?

Whatever it is, you can choose how you deal with endings. I’ve heard that Chuck Swindoll says, “It’s not always what happens to you, it’s how you respond to it that makes a difference.”

You can choose to ignore your pain, numb out, or do nothing. Or, in the midst of your pain and darkness, you can look to the light of God’s truth for hope, healing and wholeness. Either way, it’s your choice. How you handle endings, or don’t, will determine how you move forward.

What will you choose?

To take things into your own hands,
or wait on God for His way, His will, and His timing?

To lean on what you can grasp with your human mind,
or believe that God really does know what He’s doing, even when you do not?

To believe the lies that say, “My life is over. It’s too late for me.
I’m too old, too broke, too far gone, too _____ (fill in the blank)”
or reject the lies and have hope?

Hope, that maybe one day things really could be different.

Hope, that the One who knows and loves you most could already be at work with good plans specifically for you, “plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11)

Whether you chose your ending, or it chose you, a new beginning is possible.

Consider the acorn—the little cup-shaped thing with a hat that falls from an oak tree. From one small seed grows an amazingly tall and strong tree. Beauty and purpose (like shade and wind protection) spring up from this small, hard piece of potential.

Your new beginning is like an acorn, it’s filled with possibilities. Dreams surrendered to God, like an acorn planted in the soil, will grow. Held solely in your hand nothing happens. Nothing.

As you surrender and release your desires and dreams to God, He grows in your life new things…new opportunities…a new life.

Small beginnings, big results.

It’s time to begin again.


Photo credit: Dave Frahm

Learning to Wait Well - Part 2

The art of waiting well begins as you learn how to live as you wait.

As you wait, prepare. Sometimes we need to develop more of our inner life so we are ready for the next season God has for us. We spend an amazing amount of time on the outside of our bodies with clothes, hair and makeup, but we also need to grow on the inside.

Preparation to grow up on the inside begins as we first “grow down,” much like the like the roots of a bamboo tree. For the first six years, an extensive root system is developed under the earth. If you stood there and looked at where the bamboo tree was plated you’d think nothing was happening. Finally, in the seventh year, the bamboo plant shoots up 80 feet tall! But only with such a widespread root system could the tree have the support need for such explosive growth. Although it seemed like nothing was happening, God was at work preparing for growth.

As you wait, pray. You can never go wrong when you put God first. Waiting is a time of realignment; to get first things first and line up your heart with God again. You may think you are too busy and don’t have time to pray. But think of it not as spending time in prayer, but investing time in prayer. Just as you invest your financial resources to get a return, you invest time in prayer and the return is greater than anything you could imagine. Answered prayer, yes, but more importantly a closer, enjoyable relationship with God.

As you wait, have patience. How do we endure delay when we don’t know how long it will take to get to our destination or even how to get there? Life often has unexpected twists and turns, and we need patience—persistence and staying power. Thankfully, God gives us guidance to stay on the right track. Our job is to listen and obey Him.

On the western shore of Lake Michigan, along the Wisconsin coastline, is Harrington Beach. One sunny Saturday I decided to drive there which, according to the map, should take less than two hours from my home in Milwaukee. As I drove along, I could finally see the lake on my right and thought I’d be there shortly. But suddenly the highway turned inland and soon I was driving past farmland and bright red barns. It didn’t seem like I was going the right direction since my car was headed farther away from the lake. This can’t possible be the way. I want to go to the beach, yet I’m driving inland past farms!

I stopped at a gas station and asked the attendant if this was the right way to get to the beach, and he assured me it was. While the road had twists and bends, it would eventually lead to my destination. Hmmm. I guess I just needed to follow his directions and wait for the right exit. I pressed on.

Finally, there was a sign that pointed to the correct road to lead me to the beach. I parked my car, and walked through a short wooded path, and down a few wooden stairs. As I descended, I looked up and saw most amazing expanse of sand and water I’d ever seen at a Midwestern beach. To my right and left, miles of sand beckoned me to walk. The waves crashed on the shore, sea gulls cawed, and a gentle breeze blew off the lake and cooled me.

God knew the entire time I’d get to that the beach, even as I drove on winding roads that seemed to be going in the opposite direction. He knew the way; I did not. And I learned a big lesson in trust and patience that day. Waiting means that we trust God is leading us, guiding and directing, enduring delay even when the journey doesn’t look how we think it should.


-- from “When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty,” by Jackie M. Johnson. (Moody Publishing, 2010)

When Work Ends

So our company had layoffs yesterday. (Yep, I work full-time in addition to writing books.) It was a total surprise to me and the rest of the staff—including the five others who had their positions eliminated. The economy is to blame for our losses.

But, thankfully, all is not lost. I am keeping the faith and having hope for a better, brighter future. A new road to follow…a path to new adventures…

When a job ends, and when you face unemployment, there is hope. Just “do the next thing” (as wise sage Elizabeth Elliott says) and trust God every step of the way. Invite Him in to your job search process. Ask the Lord to lead and guide you, to find favor and open doors for new oppportunities. Start talking to the people you know, and ask them who they know…and so the process goes.

Sure, you want to do the practical things, like update your resume and look for jobs online and in person (check out indeed.com, the site that posts jobs from all the other job sites—convenient and time-saving!). But all your hard work will be naught, without the guiding hand of God.

He knows. He cares. He comforts. And the Lord has the power to make real and lasting changes in your work life and your whole life.

So you keep on…

And one day, things begin to change.

And you get that phone call you’ve been waiting for. You go to the interview. And you get the job. It’s your turn. It’s your time.

You may feel like the "land" in your life is fallow (empty), but growth and harvest will come. Today I read, "The LORD will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. (Ps. 85:12)

Press on! Have faith. And God will grow His harvest of blessings in your life.

A New Year and It's Full of Possibilities!

Our choices matter...

It's a brand new year, a blank slate, a path yet unwalked. I love the freshness of a new year...full of possibility. Where will this year take you? No one knows for certain, but as we trust God and make right choices the path unfolds. Walk by faith...and walk on!

Walking in Trust

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Dare to Hope

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4

This has been a week of challenges and cheers, trials and triumphs. In the past seven days, I've had reason to celebrate. My Dad had serious heart problems, was hospitalized and had surgery to open up 95% blockage. He is home recovering and we expect him to live many years to come. I am deeply thankful. A dear friend in Denver had her first baby, a girl. She and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for nearly five years. Finally, a baby! I am joyful with Tammy and Paul for the new baby, Ellianna Joy.

On the other hand, a woman I know from back home in Milwaukee lost her husband from a sudden heart attack in the middle of the night. He was only in his early 50s. Ed leaves a wife, two kids and a large extended family. A business associate's son, a 20-year old Nothwestern University student, has been missing for over a week. They found some of his belongings near Lake Michigan, but not him.

How do we cope? In the middle of our circumstances we can thank God for his blessings, and we can cry out for his healing hand to help us and those we love.

We can also have hope.

In Joyce Meyer's "The Allure of Hope," she explains that we need more than perspective, we need a new vision. "Perspective helps us cope, but coping is so much less than what our lives were made for. I can't imaging Jesus looking around at His twelve friends at the Last Supper and saying, 'You can have the peace I leave with you if you work really hard at keeping a good perspective on things.' No. He invites them to see differently, to see beyond. He says, 'My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.' (John 14:27)."

Hope runs to the heavenly Father, and holds on. Hope embraces His close presence and finds comfort in his nearness. Hope means less striving and more trust. Trust in the only One who has the power to make real changes and bring healing and life. Hope builds strength of character and changes us from the inside out.

Are you rejoicing today? Are you hurting today? Either way, take time to listen to God today. In the stillness, you find the "Trust Me" you need to find courage and strength in your time of need...and always.

Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for. Job 6:8

A Season of Surrender

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Autumn is a time of surrender. Green aspen leaves give way to bright yellow ones, which turn brown and waft slowly to the ground. The earth seems to close up shop as winter approaches.

Maybe it's a time of surrender in your life, too. You want something really badly and it just does not come. Perhaps it's a different job...or a special someone in your life...or a health concern you want to just go away...or even letting go of fear, doubt and worry.

Letting go is not natural for most of us. We keep tightly clenched fists around what we think we want. But that doesn't keep it from happening, or not happening.

Surrender is about opening each finger and holding, finally, open hands toward God. Only then can he fill them with the best things. In order to surrender, we must trust. Trust the One to whom you are giving all you hold most dear. In order to trust, we must KNOW and BELIEVE that the One we are trusting is good, and faithul...that He really does have in mind our good and does all for His glory.

The cool thing about surrender, is that you don't stay in that place forever. For after surrender comes resurection. A seed in the soil dies, and one day grows to be a beautiful, colorful flower. Likewise, all that seems dead in our lives (our hopes and dreams, or other things) may actually be merely dormant. Autumns losses turn to gain in the Spring when the world blooms again.

God didn't bring you this far just to leave you. He never leaves! He who began a good work will complete it. He finishes what he starts. Always.

What will you let go of in your life today? What will you surrender with open, trusting hands to God?

The answer He gives, may just surprise you.

Trusting When You Cannot See the Way

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5, 6

Someone very wise penned those words thousands of years ago and they still apply today. So many times in life we ask, "What am I doing?" or "Where am I going with my life?" Like a path set before us with no end in sight, we often stand there, frozen. What causes us to feel stuck? Why is it so hard to move forward sometimes?

Fear.

Maybe we're afraid we will make the wrong choice, take the wrong path and miss it. Maybe we are afraid of success. Maybe uncertainty has us in its ugly grip and we just don't know how to let go.

First, Joyce Meyer has a great saying. When we worry and fret about thinking "What if I miss God? What if I make the wrong decision?" She says with a smile, "If you miss God, He'll find you!"

God is smarter than us, wiser, totally in control and never drops the ball. We can rest secure in knowing that if we surrender, obey and trust Him. He will lead and guide our lives. He does it. We do our part; He does his part. Our part is to trust and obey.

Trust. Release. Surrender. Let go of fear, worry, doubt. Unwrap each finger and hold open hands upward to God. And He will fill them with the blessings of heaven...and all He has for you.