Confidence Builders: The Truth About Who You Really Are

We all experience times when we lack confidence and wonder if we will ever be "enough".

What if I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, strong enough? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t measure up?  

What if…what if…what if? 

That’s a whole lot of fear and worry we were never meant to bear, and it can be exhausting to live that way.  

Thankfully, you don't have to.  You have choices.  

You can choose to stay in an anxious place, dwelling on yourself, and what you can or cannot do in your own strength. Or, you can choose to believe and live the truth about what God says about who you really are.

What does God say about your true identity? Here are just a few things:

 

You are… 

   accepted by God – Romans 15:7
   loved dearly – Colossians 3:12
   chosen - Ephesians 1:11
   blessed – Matthew 5:2-12
   a friend - John 15:15
   the Bride of Christ – Revelation 19:7
   a Child of God - John 1:12
   His workmanship - Ephesians 2:10
   a Citizen of heaven - Philippians 3:20

the Light of the world - Matthew 5:14

   His co-worker - 2 Corinthians 6:1
   victorious - 1 Corinthians 15:57

   Now there’s something to ponder.  

 

Instead of relying on what others say or finding confidence in yourself, you can build “God-confidence” by remembering that He can do what you cannot.  

 

God is at work in you and is working through you; you don’t have to do this hard and messy life on your own. 

 

One of the most memorable characters in the Bible lacked confidence. Remember the scene at the burning bush? God called to Moses and asked him to go to Pharaoh, the head of Egypt, to get the people of Israel of out that country.  

 

Instead of thinking “God can” he fretted “Can I?” and basically said, “Please send someone else.” (Ex. 4:13).

 

He felt totally unqualified; he wasn’t eloquent enough and was slow of speech (4:10).  Moses wasn’t looking at what God could do, he was fearful of what he was not.  

 

Today we read that story and wonder why Moses was so uncertain. I mean, in that dialog alone God showed him three miracles: a bush that burns but does not burn up, a staff that turns into a snake and back again, and Moses’ own hand that God turned leprous and then back again.  

 

God even said, “I will be with you…” (3:12).  

 

After all that, you’d think Moses would believe God and not be afraid. But he doubted again and again. Despite all that happened, God used him mightily.  

 

When we feel ill-equipped or inadequate, that’s the time to totally rely on God and what He can do through us. 

Things change for the better when we know—and believe—the One who loves us most and trust Him.  “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure” (2 Samuel 22:33).  

 

So immerse yourself in God’s truth and love, and you will find insecurity fading and confidence building. 

 

When we see with the eyes of Christ, we see who we really are.

 

After a Breakup: Restoring Confidence and Self Esteem

Some people don’t know how to get into a relationship, while others don’t know how to get out of one-—how to detach and move forward.

In relationships, learning to bond and to separate are essential skills. As you get to know another person you share more about yourself and you develop deeper levels of closeness. You connect.

Henry Cloud says that bonding is one of our most basic and foundational needs. He affirms that we are relational at our very core and God created us with a hunger for connection and relationships.

“Bonding is the ability to establish an emotional attachment to another person,” says Cloud. “It’s the ability to relate to another on the deepest level.” When we feel more connected to others, whether it’s a romantic or other kind of relationship, we are happier and healthier.

The other side of the coin is learning how to separate and keep your sense of self intact in the process, whether you are in a relationship or not. “Separateness is an important aspect of our human identity,” says Henry Cloud. “We are to be connected to others without losing our own identity and individuality…to master the art of ‘being me without losing you.’”

When you retain your sense of self and the man keeps his identity intact, you will be a better couple. In essence, when each person’s sense of “me” is solid, there is a better “we.”

For instance, think of two circles side by side—one is yellow (representing you) and the other is blue (representing the man). When a couple first meets, the circles touch on the outer limit; their lives have not yet intersected. Then as they get to know each other, the overlapping part that represents them as a couple becomes increasingly green (because yellow and blue make green).

If they marry and become one, the two circles mesh to form one circle that is entirely green. The point is, each person must retain his or her sense of self in order for a healthy couple to exist; he must keep his blue-ness she must retain her yellow-ness otherwise green won’t happen.

Don’t let your pain or your past define you. It is a part of who you are, but it’s not the entirety of what makes you the unique individual you are. Who you once were, or who you are now can be transformed as your identity comes from your security in Christ.

When your identity is rooted in the soil of God’s truth, your confidence grows.

So when you run into the guy who dumped you, or the girl he is with now, it won’t shatter your self esteem. Sure, it may shake you up a bit at first, but you bend; you don’t break.

As you learn to accept your strengths and your weaknesses, you build confidence that you are worth being loved well.