Sunday, July 22, 2012

A Helpful Book for After a Breakup

Breakups are hard, no doubt about it. But what to do you do when a relationship has ended? It's over, and you feel lousy. You may feel sad, hurt or angry, but it doesn't have to destroy you. Is there a way to find hope and joy again?

When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty by Jackie M. Johnson was written to help you heal. With chapters on those first gut-wrencing days, to making healthier dating choices next time, there is something for everyone.

In this book, you can get help with...

Dealing with endings

Getting comfort and support

Grieving losses

Healing emotional pain

Experiencing God's love

Discovering the power of forgiveness

Learning to wait well

Awakening hope

Restoring confidence and self-esteem

Waking up to the rest of your life

Making healthier choices next time


Going from your dark days to living in the Light.

You are not alone. Not ever. The One who made you has the power to heal you inside and out. Check out "When Love Ends" and you will find your way forward.

God redeems loss and pain and heals the heart to love again.
                                                                -- Jackie M. Johnson

Saturday, July 14, 2012

After a Breakup: Finding New Hope and New Beginnings

(Photo credit: Dave Frahm)

Breakups are hard. No doubt about it. But as time passes--and with a lot of prayer and telling yourself the truth (like "I am worth being loved well.") things begin to change.

For me, I gound a new perspective on God’s unconditional love. His love is brimming with kindness, compassion and acceptance. It readily forgives and restores. Knowing that, and experiencing that enables you to better love both yourself and others.

“Love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). Live a life of love with generous, open hands not tightly-closed fists. Giving, not hoarding. Love bravely. Love courageously.

God’s commandments to love one another are not reserved for just a special man in your life. No matter what your marital status, you can share the love you have with everyone, especially those in need.

Hope on. You may have lost a love relationship, but do not lose heart. God is building in you perseverance, character and hope (Romans 5:3-5). God is the author of love, and marriage was his idea in the first place. Trust that if God provides in this area, He will give the person who is best suited for you.

My friend Bobby once gave me a good piece of advice, “You know what kind of guy you want, God knows what kind of guy you need.”

 To me, it is a mystery and a miracle how two people ever get together and stay together. Thankfully, the God we serve is really good at mysteries and miracles. And He excels at new beginnings. Here’s to new hope…and new beginnings!

The best days are ahead.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Dating, Friends or Friends with Benefits? Finding Clarity

Signs and signals are important for our safety on the road and in relationships.  Have you ever been in traffic and the car in front of you flashes a bright red left turn signal, and then suddenly turns right. Um – what’re ya doing? When a man sends mixed signals, it can be confusing. It’s time to ask questions and get clarification.

What kinds of signs is he giving you? Does he act like a boyfriend and then treat you like a friend? Does he just want to be physical (sexual) with you, and then act like he doesn’t even know you?

If he doesn’t pursue you, don’t settle for being a “friend with benefits,” someone who wants to just be a friend, and make out or sleep with you--with no commitment. Don't do it. You deserve better.


Think about this: Lust visits, love stays. Lust takes, love gives. Lust is selfish, love puts the other person first. You can tell over the course of time a man’s intentions. “Only time can reveal the difference between infatuation and lasting love,” says Bill Hybels in Fit to Be Tied.

To be a person of integrity, go to the source of integrity, the Bible. This helpful and holy book addresses what to do, and not do, with your body before you are married. We are to honor God with our bodies, not degrade them--or let someone use us when they have not intention of commitment.

For instance, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”    

Honor God with your body. How do I do that? 

By knowing and acting on the fact that sex is for two people who’ve made a commitment, a marriage covenant. In fact, one of the best gifts you can give your husband on your wedding night is yourself.

What a gift.

Hebrews 13:4 affirms that, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” God’s words, not mine.  

Sadly, sex before marriage is so prevalent in our contemporary culture that sometimes people forget God intended this intimate expression of love for a lifelong committed relationship called marriage. Not outside of it.

Look at it this way...

In the context of marriage, it’s a special and incredible thing that, like a fire in a fireplace, brings warmth, comfort and joy. In the wrong context, a cozy fire that burns outside of the fireplace’s boundaries becomes out of control and sets the house ablaze, damaging your property and destroying your life.

A beautiful thing, in the wrong context harms everyone. In the right context, it's simply amazing.

Know who you are, and what you want. Don't let anyone pressure you into something you don't want to do.  

Women, love yourself enough to let a man pursue you and commit to you, and don't settle for anything less.

You, my friend, are worth it.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy Birthday, America!

It's the 4th of July! And today, millions of Americans will celebrate with parades, barbeques, family and friends--and for some, fireworks. (None, here in the West. We have fire bans due to the dry conditions.)

I am grateful for FREEDOM...

for PEACE...

for the ability to WORSHIP without restriction...

for the bounty of BLESSINGS God has bestowed upon our land.

Thank you!

Today, and every day, we are thankful, Lord! May you continue to bless America. May we have strength, peace and abundance--and out of that blessing BE A BLESSING to others--in our land and around the world. In Jesus' name, Amen.