Saturday, February 14, 2015

Single on Valentine’s Day: Take a New Look at Love

So it’s the big heart holiday and you don’t have significant other with whom to celebrate. No boyfriend or husband. No girlfriend or wife.

How will you respond?

Will you bemoan your state of singleness and complain to all your friends that there are no single men—at least good ones—left on the planet or choose to trust God for his perfect timing for whatever He has for you?

Don’t get me wrong. We all have our days. Who hasn’t grumbled with the girls about being alone? We can let our needs be known, but we don’t have to stay in a place of despair.

We have choices.  

You may want to click on my LIVING SINGLE blog post about how Cupid is a procrastinator, but God is always on time.

And, here are some other ideas:

You can choose to embrace all kinds of love on Valentine’s Day and celebrate the love of friends, family and others in your life. While you may not have eros or romantic love today, you can rejoice in the phileo or friendship love that’s all around you.  

And, of course, there’s the agape love of The One who loves you most, the One who created you, sustains you, provides for your needs and will never leave you: God Almighty.

Nothing compares. 

You can learn to become a woman of love. A woman of love makes smarter choices in relationships because she loves herself, others and God. Loving yourself means you can be yourself, not an exact replica of the man you’re dating.  

You have enough self respect not grovel when he says he no longer wants to go out with you. You say “no” when you really don’t want to spend time with a guy, instead of leading him on by trying to be nice.

You speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).   

You can have faith, despite your circumstances. Faith is confidence, trust, assurance and reliance on one who is completely reliable.

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” (Deuteronomy 7:9)

“One way or the other,” says Susie Larson in The Uncommon Woman, “You are called to faith—the stretching, reaching, I don’t-know-if-I-can-do-this kind of faith. And when you shift all of your hopes and dreams into the arms of the Most High God, you will find Him faithful.”  

Consider praying, even now, for the spouse God has for you.  Pray for his walk with God, that he will be a man of integrity, a man of his word, communicate well, be loving and affectionate, or whatever you need. Ask God to lead and guide each of you to each other—and when you do eventually meet that He will to protect and guide your relationship.  

Remember, God has good plans for you. His word says, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).   

Hope is confident expectation. Whether your life will include marriage or not, only God knows, but you can walk on with hope knowing that He will provide for all your needs.  

Eugene Peterson says, “Hoping is not dreaming. It is not spinning an illusion or fantasy to protect us from our boredom or our pain. It means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what he said he will do. It is a willingness to let God do it in his way and in his time.”  

Happy Valentine’s Day. May you have an abundance of love in your heart today and every day.