Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Road Map From Hurt to Hope
I’ve often wished the path from hurt to hope could be easier, clearer. When you decide to take a trip and pull out a map, you can locate a specific starting point and ending point. Plus, you have a destination, and when you get there you know you’ve arrived.
In breakup world, there is no perfect map.
There is a path each of us follows. There are good ideas and guidelines—and certainly God’s word—but how that combination works to get you to a better place is different for each of us.
There is no wooden sign that tells you the exact moment you are exiting pain and entering peace, as in “You are now leaving the land of loss” or “Welcome to the land of new beginnings.”
You have to walk in faith.
And you must choose which road to walk.
Your own “Great Awakening”
Time has passed since your breakup. Whether it’s been weeks, months or years, eventually your slumbering self wakes up and the light of God’s truth brings greater revelation. You have more awareness, insight and clarity about your pain and the relationship ending. You’ve come a long way in your healing journey.
And now you stand at a crossroads. There is a fork in the road and before you are two paths, one is the way of hope—Hope Road. The other is the path of hopelessness—Despair Drive. It is a defining moment, to have hope or not. Which road you will take?
Despair Drive follows the trail of bleakness. You just want to give up. You don’t want to deal with this “getting over a breakup” stuff any longer; you want to stay asleep and succumb to the darkness of disappointment. It’s too difficult, and it’s taking too long.
You show up for work or for lunch with friends, but a part of you is not really there. You’ve kind of checked out; the lights are on but no one’s home. You’ve been rejected and you can’t seem to get over it. Somehow you think a broken heart is incurable.
But beware: Walking down Despair Drive is dangerous. And not making a decision about which path to take is in itself a decision. It’s understandable to have a heavy heart after a breakup. But don’t “lose heart.” Resignation to hopelessness can lead to isolation, alienation and further misery. You may even often miss out on support, love and friendship, the very things you need.
Despair Drive or Hope Road? It’s your choice.
God has called you “out of darkness and into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9) How will you answer?
Jackie M. Johnson is an author and freelance writer in Colorado. Her hope-filled and encouraging books include "Power Prayers for Women," "When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty" and "Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times." Jackie also writes the Living Single blog on Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk website.