A Love Lesson from "Sense and Sensibility"

I've always liked the movie, "Sense and Sensibility" based on the Jane Austen novel of the same name. Maybe it's because of the close relationship of the two sisters, which I am grateful to have in my own life.

Or, the beautiful English countryside. Or, the handsome men and how they break women's hearts. I can relate to that.

Today, I'm posting on a blog for single women called Girls Night In. Check out the link below and find out how two characters in this movie, Elinor and Marianne, reveal an important love lesson.

It's an interesting twist on our most important love relationship. Here's the post.

Enjoy!

Discouraged? Here's Wild Hope for Hard Times

Garden of the Gods Park, Colorado Springs

Where I live in Colorado there’s an extraordinary park with gigantic natural red rocks called Garden of the Gods. Some areas are not open to the public because they need repair. A sign posted there reads, “Area Under Reclamation.” In other words, “Don’t walk here; we’re fixing this section.”  

Just as the land needs ecological restoration, the landscape of your heart may need some spiritual restoration—and often emotional and physical changes as well. The good news is that both landscapes and lives be transformed.  

Restoration is possible, but often we lose sight of how it happens. We lose sight of hope.  

 

Focused solely on our circumstances our view becomes myopic; we see only part of the picture. For example, if you took a photograph of a desert landscape, all you’d see in the four-by-six inch photo would be your perspective from one viewpoint: some sand, cactus and a bit of tumbleweed blowing in the distance.  

But the picture doesn’t tell the whole story. What you couldn’t see beyond the edges of your snapshot was an oasis just ahead, or the desert’s end.  

There’s more to the landscape, and there’s more to your life. Beyond the snapshot in your mind of how you feel at this moment—beyond your discouragement or desperation—there is hope ahead.  

You can have hope in hard times, and in all times, when you know more fully the One in whom we put our hope. Jesus Christ, our Wild Hope. He is “wild” in the sense that He is passionate and powerful—adoring and authoritative—yet often unpredictable.  

Isaiah 55:8 reminds us, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.” While His ways are often surprising, He acts out of ultimate love. Hope that is wild is extravagant; it is beyond your wildest dreams.  

Restoring the landscape of your life and getting through tough times comes through prayer. Talking with God, and listening. A simple, but holy, conversation.  

A prayer-filled life is a powerful life. It will help you to stand strong in tough times.

 

When you pray, your life—and the lives of those around you—will be forever changed. You will be inspired to live with greater peace, restored hope, and more freedom.

You will discover wild hope through your connection with Jesus Christ—a hope so unexpected yet so wonderfully good, that when you begin to grasp it your life just may be transformed into one of startling kindness, lavish love, and limitless possibilities.  

Now that’s the kind of hope I can hold onto. How about you?

 

After a Breakup: Finding Hope and Healing

 

Walking Away

Most relationship breakups happen in January. Why? Because it’s after the holidays and before Valentine’s Day (the traditional love holiday for couples).

If you or someone you know are going through a dating relationship breakup or divorce, here’s some help and hope. You can get through this confusing and painful time. Here are the 12 Steps of Relationship Breakup Recovery:  

1. Deal with endings

2. Get the comfort and support you need

3. Grieve your losses

4. Heal your emotional pain (sadness, anger, fear, rejection, etc.)

5. Experience God’s amazing love for you

6. Discover the power of forgiveness

7. Learn to wait well

8. Awaken hope

9. Restore your confidence and self esteem

10. Wake up to the rest of your life

11. Make healthier choices next time

12. Live in the light

 
But how do you do this?

Check out my helpful breakup recovery book, "When Love Ends and the Ice Cream Carton Is Empty" (in print or e-book) or share it with a friend who’s going through this painful event. It's not fluff. It's packed with encouragement, insight and practical get-your-life-back tips from someone who's been there.

And check out the rest of this encouragement blog, A New Day Café for lots of insight on recovering from a painful breakup. I will be posting more in the new year too.

You can lose the pain; find joy again. It's time...

 

The rest of your life is waiting.

 

 

Single at Christmas? Here's Some Christmas Cheer!

The stockings are hung. The presents are wrapped. The tree is aglow with lights. The fire burns brightly as carolers sing. And mistletoe is just waiting for you and your special someone to enjoy “the most wonderful time of the year!” 

Stop! Is this a Christmas movie we’re talking about? Because for many of us who are single or single again, it sounds like a fairy tale. Or a Hallmark card. Or someone else’s life. 

Yes, many singles struggle during the holidays to find the joy and the jolly amidst the holiday rush and the holly.   

What if you just broke up, or are recently divorced?
What if you can't afford to fly home for the holidays?
What if your family doesn’t gather—or you have no family to go home to?

 

And you feel lonely, sad, dejected or depressed.  

Here are some tips and gentle reminders to help you not just survive the holidays, but maybe even to thrive:  

Give and serve. Lucy in the Peanuts Christmas TV special was right. Charlie Brown was depressed and she advised him to get involved with the local community Christmas play. What can you do in your community to help others? Volunteer at a food bank. Help with a toy drive. Offer to baby sit while friends with children do their holiday shopping. Or, whatever moves you. Doing for others brings joy to them—and to you! 

Connect. Ask a friend to have coffee or tea. Share your heart with a trusted friend so he or she can empathize and pray for you. Sometimes it helps to just get it out and talk about how you’re feeling.  

Pray. Ask God to give you comfort and joy, and a sense of community. You never know what may happen to surprise you. One friend I know did not have any plans for Christmas Day. So she prayed and asked God for something to do on this special holiday. Then, just a few days before the holiday, she got an invitation to join a family she knew from church for their Christmas dinner and celebration.  

Enjoy it anyways. So even if you get no offers. Even if you end up alone on Christmas, decide to enjoy it anyways! You can buy some special foods you like, or treat yourself to a favorite meal (just pick it up the day before since many restaurants are closed on Christmas Day). We have choices! Even if “home for the holidays” will not happen for you, you can choose to focus on what you do have—not on what you don’t have.  

Focus on the true meaning of Christmas. You will find meaning and joy as you look to the true story of the birth of Jesus Christ: a baby, born of a virgin girl, who grew up to love and change the world. Amazing, but true, Love came down at Christmas—God WITH us. Emmanuel.  

 

So what is the meaning of that first Christmas night?

  Simply, He came to make everything right.

  For the Child had a purpose in coming to Earth.

He came as a light and to give us new birth.

 

He gave us forgiveness and paid with His life.

  What kind of love would pay such a price?

For death could not hold Him; He rose from that grave.

And freedom and life were the gifts that He gave.

 

No longer divided, no longer alone,

  Because of His love the wall had come down.

  Live free forever! O, what a gift!

Both now here on earth and forever with Him.

 

Wise men and angels followed Him then.

  Wise men still seek Him, again and again.

 

 

That’s from a poem I wrote some years ago about the true meaning of Christmas.

Finally, remember who loves you. Love changes everything. So, whether you have the love of a good woman or man—or don’t—you still have different kinds of love in your life that can be cultivated and CELEBRATED all through the year. Like the love of family or friends or pets or neighbors or others.  

And mostly, the love of a kind and generous God who is always there loving you—whether you feel it or not. Love came down at Christmas. For you. For me. On that you can rely.

 

Merry Christmas and blessings for an extraordinarily good New Year!

Jackie M. Johnson

12 Steps to Becoming a More Organized Woman

A Book Review

These days, almost everyone I know complains that they have too much to do and not enough time. How do you get it all done and stay organized in the process. Are there better ways to tackle the clutter, organize your house and maintain relationships with your spouse, kids, friends, and—most importantly—with God in this fast-paced life? 

Yes, indeed. Thanks to author Lane P. Jordan, getting organized doesn’t have to be difficult.  

In her newly updated and revised book, 12 Steps to Becoming a More Organized Woman: Practical Tips for Managing Your Home and Your Family (Hendrickson Publishers) Jordan provides a treasure chest of information to help make life more productive and satisfying.  

Check out some of these categories that Jordan tackles in her book: 

• Walking with God daily
• Working on your marriage
• The importance of time
• Balancing the demands of home and career
• Staying healthy and fit
• Health meals
• Details of the home
• Nurturing and providing for children
• Restoring yourself emotionally and spiritually
• And more…

With practical tips and spiritual insight for women who want to live a more balanced and productive life, this book can be a helpful resource.

Finding Joy Despite Your Circumstances

A thankful heart is a JOYFUL heart.

 
Where does joy come from?   

Does joy come from winning a trip to Hawaii? Or the bliss of holding a newborn baby? Or the calm delight of watching a pink-orange sunset with the one you love?  

Sure. All of those things can bring us joy, but what happens when it rains at the beach or the baby cries, or the one you love no longer want to watch sunsets with you?   

Yeah. Not good.            

Yet despite the frustrations life can bring, true joy is not dependent upon our circumstances. Though life’s joy stealers can be many, we can learn to have more joy in our lives. It starts with asking.  

Ask God for more joy in your life. 1 John 5:14-15 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” 

Here are a few good verses on finding JOY:  

• The joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10
• The cheerful heart has a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15
• Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5
• Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Psalm 100:2
• The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:3

Finally, a heart full of praise and thankfulness is a glad heart.   

Praising God multiplies our joy and increases our faith. “Praise is the spark plug of faith. Praise gets faith airborne, where it can soar above the gravitational forces of this world’s cares. The secret of faith is continual praise even when your inward parts tremble, lips quiver, and decay enters your bones,” says Kay Arthur in When Bad Things Happen.  

Praising God for who He is and all He has done can start a smile quickly. Thanking Him for the relationships in our lives that bring us connection and cheer buoys our spirits as well.  

A thankful heart is a joyful heart.  

 

(excerpt from Power Prayers forWomen by Jackie M. Johnson)

Dealing With Losses and Getting Unstuck

"If you don't grieve well, you grieve all the time."

Sometimes life hurts. People move away. Or pass away, or break up with us. We get fired or yelled at. Or we’re misunderstood or mistreated. Whatever it is, it feels really bad. We just want the pain to go away.  

Certainly, in times of loss you need to cry. You need to get it all out. You have a right to your emotions.

 

But when months have passed, or years, there could remain some "emotional garbage." Which, like regular garbage in your home, needs to be taken out. Grief left unattended blocks your emotions as well as your movement forward into healing and wholeness.  

Bottom line: A loss of significance—a big loss—can get stuck in your heart if it is not processed.  

Stuck pain can also lead to unwanted behavior. You’re constantly sad or bitter, and it keeps you at arm’s length from other people, so you feel alone. You don’t feel like yourself, so you end up saying or doing things you don’t really mean—like blaming others or lashing out in unwarranted anger. You hurt others.  

It’s been said that if you don’t grieve well, you grieve all the time. While you may put on a good front for friends and co-workers, inside the lingering sadness remains.  

On the other hand, when you express your grief and deal with it, you can become emotionally stronger and healthier. That’s why it’s so important to grieve losses—to unblock your frozen heart so you can feel better, find joy and live a life of emotional freedom, serenity and love.  

It’s time to “drain the pain” and express your grief so you can move forward.  

How to Express Your Grief

Everyone heals in their own way and their own timing because love and loss is unique for each person. Here are some ideas on how to process your pain and release your sadness through grieving.  

1.     Acknowledge your loss. Getting through this season of grief and sadness begins by acknowledging that a loss has happened. Someone or something that was there is now gone.

2.     Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you do what you cannot do on your own. With His power, emotions expressed will begin the flow, unclogging your blocked heart. In time you will get unstuck and move from the darkness of loss and pain into the sunlight of restoration and wholeness. “The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down” (Psalm 145:14, NIV).

3.     Ask for help from a close friend or family member who will listen as you share your story of loss. When someone listens to your heart, and hears your pain, he or she is a witnesses your sorrow and it can be life-changing.

4.     Let yourself cry. Get the hugs you need. Allow others to pray for and with you. And receive all the peace and comfort that God and others have for you.  

The good news is that you will not feel this way forever. Your gray days will one day turn to vibrant colors again. Perhaps it’s not today, or next week, but one day; maybe soon…  

Your new day will come.

 

For more information about dealing with sadness, grief

and life losses, see “When Love Ends” by Jackie M. Johnson.

There's an entire chapter on healing grief and losses.