Lessons from a Summer Storm: Finding Joy Again

 

Life can be like stormy weather. Instead of “living the dream,” you feel like you’re living the nightmare.

He broke up with you. She disappointed you. You got fired. Or, for whatever reason life hasn't turned out as you planned.

You never thought you'd be ______. (Fill in the blank.)

You may be asking yourself, “How did I get here? How will things ever change?”
 
Whether you’re overwhelmed, sad or downright depressed, hold on. Hear this and have hope:
 
It was a hot July day, and from my patio door I could see ominous gray clouds gathering. It looked like the end of the world.

Suddenly, the sky released pelting rain. Lightning cracked like gunfire, and thunder rolled and rolled.

Hours passed.

Finally, the clouds broke, revealing a luminous blue sky. Bright sunshine sparkled on wet grass like dew diamonds. It was clear again—so clear.

Sometimes life feels like a tumultuous summer storm. It’s dark and scary. Things change around us suddenly, swirling like the unpredictable winds of a tornado...and the sadness--like the storm--seems to stay forever.

But thankfully storms pass.

Just like a strong wind clears away storm clouds, the Holy Spirit blows a fresh and purposeful wind of hope through your soul storm.

After the rain, sunshine; after life’s storms, renewed calm and joy. 

Prayer
Lord, it feels like a storm in my heart, a hurricane of emotions swirling about. I am so sad; I feel defeated. Where has my hope gone? Yet, here I am. Thank you that You hear my cries, even my unformed words. Please help me. Please heal me. You are my strong hope. I take comfort knowing You are near and You care. You have the power to blow away the storms in my life, and be my steady anchor in the midst of them. I ask for Your help. In Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.
 

From Fear to Faith: How to Overcome

 

 

Fear says, “I cannot handle this situation.”

Faith says, “God can.”

Years ago, when I was learning how to mountain bike I was afraid to go down super big hills with rocky terrain. I was afraid of falling. I wanted to go slowly down the hill—to maintain control and feel more in control. However, my friend (who was an experienced mountain biker) said, “Speed is your friend,” and urged me to go faster.  

Faster? It sounded counterintuitive. Perched at the top or a hill strewn with rocks of all sizes, I paused. I prayed and I decided to trust him.  

As I went down the hill on my bike, the speed actually helped me to glide across the rocky path in a whole new way. I was scared and excited. It was exhilarating! 

Fear comes into our lives in many ways. Perhaps your fears are holding you back from what you truly want. Or, they are keeping you in bondage—not free.  

Fear says, “I cannot handle this situation.” Faith says, “God can.”  

When you release your grasp and let go of how you think things should be, they begin to change. Surrender is a powerful thing. Giving your fears to God, and allowing him to transform them into faith—faith that He will come through for you even though you can’t see now how it’s all going to work out. 

He is your strong protector, wise helper and total healer. He is stronger than any force that tries to come against you. God whispers, “Will you trust me?” Will you believe I will take care of all your needs and calm your fears?   

It starts by remembering what God has done in the past—for you and for others. Recall how He has seen you through before, and believe that He will again. Ask the Him to help you do what you cannot. 

Remember you are not alone. The Lord is with you always and He will fight for you.

 

 

Pressing On!

Perseverance

 

Lord, so many times I am tempted to give up. Life is just too hard, and I cannot do it on my own. Please give me the inner strength to keep on gong. I long to do your will. Fortify me, Lord. Thank you for keeping your promises--all of them, all the time. I trust you for your help, hope and healing as we walk through this life together. In Jesus' name. Amen.

 

 

From "Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times" by Jackie M. Johnson

Forgiving Someone Who's Hurt You, Especially After a Breakup

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable,
because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
– C.S. Lewis

Forgiveness is like a brilliant diamond; there are many facets to it. Today I will present one aspect of it.

So something happened. Someone hurt you and now you are ticked, angry, hurt or some other combination of emotions.

Neil T. Anderson says that the more traumatic your experience, the more intense will be your primary emotion. According to Anderson, an event in the present triggers the primary emotion and sets off something inside that may have been dormant for years.

A relationship breakup, for instance, could activate emotions like intense anger or extreme feelings of rejection, and you may be puzzled as to why you are reacting the way you do—and why you cannot let go. Realizing that the past is creeping into your present will help you to deal with it.

Two ways to find resolution are: First, understand that you are no longer a product of your past. “You have the privilege of evaluating your past experience in the light of who you are today, as opposed to who you were then,” said Anderson. Second, forgive those who have offended you.

Easier said than done. Right?

Forgiveness is the key to healing
A major key that heals brokenness after a relationship ends is forgiveness—whether it’s forgiving past pain, forgiving the person who hurt you in the present, or forgiving yourself. “Forgiveness,” according to Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III in Bold Love “is the light that penetrates the dark and frees the somber, shamed heart to leap with love.”

Whether the offense was in the past or the present, holding onto that pain not only continues to hurt you, it can also block you from moving forward.

The pent up pain turns into bitterness, resentment, or offense and the emotional poison works its way into other areas of our lives. With stubbornness, pride, ignorance or sheer selfishness we cling, like those brown crunchy leaves that cling to trees in winter (long after their season has ended), to what we want or what we think should happen. “He is wrong, and I’m right.” “I want justice (or revenge).” “What he did was inexcusable.”

You don’t owe me
Years ago at a singles retreat in Green Lake, Wisconsin, Andy Stanley gave a talk on the topic of forgiveness. I remember him saying something to the effect that when you do not forgive, it’s as if you hold that person hostage in your heart. You take them out once in a while, beat them up, and put them back.

When you feel wronged, you think the other person owes you something. They owe you an apology, an explanation, a childhood, a relationship or a marriage. Whatever it is, you are holding them prisoner, but you are the one with the pain. T

hen Stanley opened his hands, and with his palms turned up said something like, “Forgiveness means we release that person and say, ‘You don’t owe me.’” You don’t owe me.

How do you go from a place where you feel someone is emotionally indebted to you to a place you can release and forgive? Often people find it difficult to forgive because they are not clear on what forgiveness is and what it is not.

What forgiveness is…and is not
Forgiveness is not forgetting about what happened or acting like everything is okay. It does not mean that you condone what happened, agree with it or like it.

You are not overlooking the offense or excusing it, and you are definitely not letting the offender off the hook for their words or actions. Instead, you’re putting them on God’s hook, and trusting God to deal with it fairly because He said He would.

As you release the person who’s wronged you to God, He ensures justice is served; not you. “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)

I like what C.D. Baker says about God’s justice in 40 Loaves: Breaking Bread with Our Father Each Day, “Yes, God seeks justice and so should we. He grieves when we are oppressed or taken advantage of, and he demands justice on our behalf. But what we forget is that Jesus already paid the price for others’ violations against us…and for our violations against them. We don’t need to seek vengeance.”

Indeed, the God of unconditional love is also our advocate for justice.

Kind Words Bring Blessings

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

Most likely you’ve heard the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Think again. Words do harm people. In fact, we have the power to hurt or to heal with our words.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” We can use what comes out of our mouths for building up or tearing down, for blessing or for cursing. Every word we speak can cause growth, like water to a tree, or destruction, like an axe to the tree trunk.

As a child, words – kind or harsh – were spoken to you and they became some of the building blocks of the foundation of your self. Like gray bricks in the foundation of a house, the words that were said (or not said) formed your structure. Today, you may still be trying to heal from the cracks in your soul’s foundation.

Thankfully, God’s foundation is strong; His is a foundation of love, justice and righteousness. Psalm 89:14 says, “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you.” With His strength, we can learn to say kind words more often to strengthen the foundation of those around us.

They say it takes 11 positive comments to heal one negative word spoken. If that’s the case we need to heed the words of one wise person in Proverbs to build up one another, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

Will your words build up or destroy another today? The choice is yours.

Lord, let love be my foundation. Give me the wisdom to speak kind words to others to build them up not tear them down.

Calm Your Heart; Return to Joy

"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:11

Life is messy. We get hurt--or we hurt others. Breakups happen, people disappoint us. Or annoy us. Things don't go as planned. Why, it seems, is there never enough time to do what we need to get done.

But there is hope. The mess of the rain and mud in springtime lead into the beauty and bounty of summer. Fresh, green leaves. Pungent lilacs. Blooming fruit trees and gardens. All that mess led to something better.

This too shall pass. Your day will come. I believe it. Will you!

May God give you HOPE today, perhaps more hope than you've had in a long time--that one day things will change. That they will get better.

May the hard times you're facing lead to infinitely better days ahead!

How to Deal with Anger – Especially After a Breakup

Samantha was mad. As she drove home after a long talk with Jesse, her boyfriend of three years, she replayed over and over in her mind what he’d said only moments before.

It had been a relaxing Saturday afternoon and the couple was hanging out at Jesse’s house. Samantha casually asked him if he could ever see them marrying each other. Jesse paused, looked up at her and said, “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t really know you.”

He doesn’t know me—after three years?

Samantha was shocked, hurt, and angry. Yet despite her feelings she calmly tried to talk with Jesse about it, but he didn’t want to engage in conversation so Samantha left. But then, Samantha was always the one who wanted to connect and Jesse didn’t.

She couldn’t count the number of times he’d shut down and say nothing when the topic got too deep for him. He didn’t want to share his feelings and, it appeared, he didn’t want to share his life with her either. Samantha and Jesse broke up shortly after that revealing conversation.

She had good reason to be angry. She wanted more conversationally and emotionally from Jesse and he wasn’t willing to give it to her. Added to that was the fact that they’d been together for three years. Samantha had invested her heart with this man and got a zero percent return.

We all get angry once in a while and that’s normal. But when we ignore it, hide it, or express anger in out of control ways to destructive extremes then it’s a problem.

Someone once told me that feelings are “indicators,” but God’s truth leads. You may feel angry, but don’t give in to rage, hostility, violence, cruelty, or physical or verbal abuse. Ephesians 4:26, 27 reads, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Jesus Christ displayed a range of emotions during his thirty-three years on Earth. He was passionate about justice, even if it meant a display of righteous anger when he overturned the tables of the money changers when they turned the temple area, a sacred place, into a selling floor for animals. (John 2:13-17)

Here are some practical things you can do to manage your anger wisely:

For instance, you can write an anger letter expressing to God about what happened during your breakup and/or since then, and how you feel about it. It can even include things that happened during the time you dated, if needed. Pour out your heart—what you’re mad about and why.

Or, you could write a different kind of anger letter. This exercise helps you to get the release you need, but you never ever mail the letter. Picture the person who broke up with you sitting across the table from you as you write. If you could say anything you wanted to him or her right now, what would you say? If you could say anything to them in a Christ-like way, what would you say? It’s up to you how much to include.

The purpose of the letter it to get the emotion out of you and release it. No one else will ever see what you write and you can feel safe to express yourself, vent, and be free of the tangled emotions inside of you. When you’re done, you can choose to burn or shred it if you’d like, but never (never!) mail it.

Write an anger action plan. In the midst of a heated conversation, sometimes you may need to leave so you (or the other person) can cool off and address your issues later. When you need to think through why you’re irritated, this can be helpful. Make a list of what happened, if you need to respond (you may not), how it makes you feel, and some potential ways you can respond. Then, after you’ve reviewed your options you can choose what to do. It will be helpful to pray before you begin. For example:

• What happened? Tony constantly cuts me off before I can finish a sentence.

• Do I need to respond? Yes, I feel like I need to stand up for myself.

• How does this make me feel? I feel angry when Tony doesn’t let me finish what I’m saying. I feel like what he has to say is more important than what I want to say. I feel diminished and unimportant.

• Options to responding: When Tony cuts in when I’m talking, I could say, “Could I please finish my sentence?” or “I wasn’t done yet.” Or, I could spend less time with Tony. Or. . .?

There are other ways to manage your anger too. Some people find it helpful to get punch pillows, talk to a trusted friend, pull out the Bible and read, journal their thoughts, go workout, or get outside for a long walk or bike ride. A good hearty laugh or getting some humor into your life can advance your heart toward joy again.

Find activities that relieve stress for you. And one day, things will be better. If you let them.

Fresh Hope Delivered Daily

I love the word, “hope.” It’s so full of joy—as in longings fulfilled and good things.

But having hope—no matter what your circumstances—takes courage. And it takes faith.

It begins with a single step, from where you are right now to and exciting new path. Whether you begin hesitantly or with a let’s-have-an-adventure excitement, the important thing is that you begin—and keep choosing hope.

Seek the Lord and listen for his guidance. And He will lead you. By taking one step, and then another and another, you leave the old place of brokenness and rubble, fraught with complication and unanswered questions.

Even when the future is unclear and it feels like a primordial haze hangs over your heart, walk on. Because like the early morning low cloudiness in San Francisco, eventually the fog will lift and clarity will come. Your blue sky days of joy will return.

Be assured, though, that walking with hope is not like being in a Disney cartoon where bluebirds carrying colorful ribbons lead the way and happy chipmunks wave as you skip down the lane and daisies bloom instantly at your feet.

Not so much.

As you walk down Hope Road, you may have obstacles or roadblocks ahead. You may not be able to see the way ahead or you may feel lost. But keep on walking, and in time things will begin to change.

True hope believes that God will give good things. “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” (Psalm 84:11, emphasis mine)

Every morning the sun rises; every day the Lord delivers fresh hope. Despite life’s discouragement and difficulties, you can look back at all God has done in the past in other areas of your life—how He’s kept His promises and has been faithful to keep his word—and you can look forward with hope for good things to come in the future.

Hope is confident expectation that you will receive what you hope for, that a desire will come to pass. Like if you planted dahlia seeds in your garden, you would hope that brightly colored flowers would one spring up. As you covered the seeds with dark brown soil, you’d be confident that, in time, there’d be growth even though you do not yet see results.

Romans 8:24, 25 says, “Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

You may have just lost your job, or relationship, or spouse. You may only have a few dollars to your name, or have an illness you just can’t seem to beat. Maybe your kids are making unwise choices, or you have a huge decision to make and you don’t know what to do. Whatever you’re going through…

Hope on…and see the goodness of the Lord. It just may surprise you.

When Life is Hard: Overcoming Obstacles to Hope

Sometimes life can feel like a never-ending path of roadblocks. You can’t seem to get what you want or go where you need to go. Things seem thwarted. And you’re oh so tired of waiting…always waiting for something good to happen.

Don’t give up. And don’t let anyone steal your Hope! Because just like the pretty purple crocus' pop their head through the ground after a cold, hard winter, your life can bloom with new beauty and joy.

Yep, your life!

When nothing seems to be happening…
when you are tired of trying to make things work out on your own…
when you cannot see the way, hold on to hope.

The cadence of Christ is often unlike your own pace, but God is still at work in your life. “Hope has its own rhythm,” said Larry Crabb in Shattered Dreams, “We cannot rush it. The water of life will find its way down the mountain to fill the lake from which we can drink.”

If hope is asleep in your life, how does it awaken?

Hope awakens because God arises. Despite the difficulties, you have the strength to wake up and walk on because God arises first. He lifts you up; He helps you to soar above your adversity. Psalm 68:1 says, “May God arise, may his enemies be scattered; may his foes flee before him.”

At first you may think, “I don’t have any enemies.” And then it dawns on you that you do have opponents on the road to hope and healing.

In addition to the evil one, our main adversary, difficulties like worry, fear, doubt, rejection, obsession, anxiety are “enemies” as well. They can come at you with the force of an opposing army. But that's not the end of the story.

Hope awakens from unconditional love. The total and absolute love of God and the love of supportive family and friends can change us from the inside out. On this path of heart healing know that you are loved, cared for. You are never alone.

Hope awakens from God’s Word. “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” (Romans 15:4). What a blessing to have words of hope in our own language, words that will heal your pain-weary heart.

Hope awakens to God’s sovereignty. Perhaps one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that God directs and redirects. He is sovereign, He is in control. Even when it SEEMS chaos reigns.

Every morning the sun rises; every day the Lord delivers fresh hope. Despite the discouragement and difficulties, you can look back at all God has done in the past in other areas of your life—how He’s kept His promises and has been faithful to keep his word—and you can look forward with hope for good things to come in the future.

“Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23

Fresh hope delivered daily. Count on it!

After a Breakup: Finding Connection and Community Again

After a breakup singles often feel lonely or disconnected from other people. Isolation can lead to a lack of motivation, and a lot less joy. Instead of trying to be tough and self-sufficient, it’s important to realize that it’s okay to rely on others, especially people who are affirming, accepting, and trustworthy.

We were created for connection. Yet oftentimes we don’t have the energy for it if we are too focused on our own problems, or we haven’t taken the time to develop quality friendships.

Sadly, TV shows can become a quick fix for company since these people show up in your living room at least once a week. But TV is only a one-way connection.

Our pastor once said that if God can separate you from authentic community then you are easy prey for the enemy because you are isolated and alone. Whether it’s with your family, friends, church, book club, Bible study, sports team, community theatre group, scrapbooking club, or other types of community, we all need real, live human contact.

Of course, solitude can be healing and we all need some time to ourselves, but we need to find a balance between being alone and being with other people—-not just with online friends, but face-to-face personal interaction.

Indeed, restoration often comes within relationships. Being in healthy and supportive relationship other than dating connections can be very healing. As people treat you with kindness and treat you well they reinforce the truths you’ve learned that you are worthy and have infinite value.

We get stronger and sharper as we connect with others, and follow Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Plus, you may be able to help someone else in their time of need after their breakup because you can relate and empathize. You can offer them hope and comfort, and help bring healing to others from your own wounding and heart healing path.

When Erica went through a painful divorce she was fortunate to have church members who provided practical help as well as a lot of support and encouragement.

People were constantly giving her invitations to their home for meals and fellowship. It helped her to feel less sad and alone, and very loved by her church community as they modeled Christ to her.

Some of the men in the church volunteered to work on her home (which was in disrepair) and mow her lawn. One of the deacons was a CPA and he helped her with financial planning after the divorce. In addition, she received lots of prayer and letters of encouragement. Erica was extremely grateful as her church loved her in a way she’d never felt loved before.

In fact, what the church did for Erica was a testimony to the community. As she went through the grieving process and was supported in such tangible and kind ways, those outside the church looked on in wonder and amazement.

It kind of makes me want to cry tears of joy for the help and support she received.

Bottom line: Don’t try to do this life on your own. Connect, and you will find much more joy and satisfaction in life!

Breakup Repair: Spring Cleaning Your Heart

Recently I was driving downtown and spotted the city's old train station across the street. It had once been a bustling transportation hub, but over time the facility was abandoned and fell into disrepair.

Years later someone had the bright idea to renovate the old building, and now the once defunct train station has been transformed into offices and stylish lofts.

Transformation. Change.

Hmmm…It was time for some fixing up in my own life too.

After a breakup a few years ago, I had been so consumed with my own misery and getting over a guy that I almost forgot who I was and what I wanted-—and what God wanted for me.

Slowly I began to wake up and remember that, among other things, I wanted to write, to travel, and to get my finances in order so I could be a generous giver. I wanted to feel joy again.

I could tell a fresh wind of change was blowing in my life because as I emerged from the breakup blues, I suddenly got the urge to spring clean everything-—and it wasn’t even springtime!

I got rid of clothes that no longer fit or were no longer in style. I wanted to redecorate and did a few small things to my place. I was changing and I wanted my environment around me to change too.

Is it time for new purposes, new visions, and new dreams in your life?

Are there things you want to change? Like a winter coat in July, it may be time to shed some old ways of thinking, like negative self talk or put downs. Maybe you want to lose weight or take a class—not because some guy is telling you to change, but because you want to do it for yourself.

Take this time to focus on what you want to be different in your life: get in touch with friends, learn more about how men work, or update your wardrobe. Out with the old, in with the new!

No matter what you discard, don’t ever throw away the outfit that looks good on everyone and never goes out of style: “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, emphasis mine)

Moving forward, making changes, and living beyond your breakup begins as you wake up to the rest of your life, and arise to:

gratitude,

community,

joy,

serving others,

vision and purpose, and

adventure—learning to trust again and take risks.

There is more, and the rest of your life is waiting!

Finding Comfort When Life Hurts

When life hurts, what do you do for comfort?

Most people don’t like a heart vacancy or a blank calendar, so they seek to fill the void with excessive eating, drinking, partying, or jumping too quickly into another relationship just to ease the pain. We are quick to want to cram the heart holes with what we think will satisfy.

But these unhealthy ways of coping are false comforters that promise relief from pain yet turn out to be harmful, unhealthy or temporary. And the vacuum remains.

When the intensity of an empty heart comes over you, everything in you just wants to feel better. You need consolation and reassurance that your feelings are valid, and that one day it really will be okay. How will you find comfort? What brings you relief and reassurance?

Here are some helpful ideas to help you get the support you need:

Let yourself cry. Tears bring cleansing and comfort. Author and speaker Jill Briscoe once said that “God gives us enough tears to keep our clay moist so He can mold us.” We are the clay, He is the potter, and God is reshaping your life for good and holy purposes.

Find true comfort. When false comforters leave you emotionally and physically stranded, it’s time to say goodbye to imitations and hello to the real thing: the true comfort found in “the God all comfort” (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4). His love, His presence, and His word are healing gifts.

Talk to God. Prayer is a vital key in your healing process. Why not start each day with prayer for wisdom, guidance, and favor and end each day with a prayer of thanks and gratitude for all He’s done for you that day (whether you enjoyed it or endured it)?

Release and receive. Picture yourself standing before the Lord with open hands, palms faced up. Ask God to help you to be okay with empty spaces in your life right now, and trust Him to fill your open hands with good things.

Worship also brings healing and comfort. In worship, you’re not just singing songs. You’re focusing on God, not yourself. You are entering into His presence with a heart to give—communicating your love, gratitude and adoration—but you also end up receiving hope, healing, joy and a fresh encounter with God.

Talk with trusted friends or family members. Albert Schweitzer once said, “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” Telling your story can help to ease your heart’s pain and bring emotional healing. When someone listens we feel validated. When someone empathizes we feel comfort and relief.

Write in a journal or notebook. Writing your thoughts and prayers in a journal can be helpful and healing. When your feelings appear on a page (or even typed online) they are no longer swirling inside your head. You can vent your emotions, release your pain, and do so in the privacy of your personal journal. You may even want to ask God, “What do you want me to learn from this?” And write the life lessons you learn.

Nurture your spirit. When your heart is hurting it’s helpful to take care of yourself and remember what makes you feel good. What would best nurture your soul, mind and body right now? Comfort comes in a variety of ways and uses some or all of our five senses, like:

the touch of a friend’s hug, a therapeutic massage, or a warm comforter around you as you rest in an overstuffed chair by a roaring fire;

the sight of the stunning beauty of God’s creation (on vacation or right in your own backyard), or a redecorated apartment;

the smell fresh cut flowers filling your living room, or a new perfume;

the taste of your favorite comfort foods (like creamy mashed potatoes or a hot caramel latte);

the sound of relaxing music, the melody of a flowing river on a nature walk, or a phone call from a kind friend who is really good at cheering you up.


May your unfailing love be my comfort…
Psalm 119:76

Learning to Wait Well - Part 1

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5

Much of life seems to have a time lag—we expect things to happen in the amount of time we think it should take. Single people wonder when Mr. or Miss Wonderful will appear. People who are married often wonder when they’ll have kids, or when the kids will grow up. We hunger for the day we’ll get a better paying job, or finally use our talents in work or ministry. We long to lose weight, change a bad habit, or finally take that dream vacation—and we want it to happen right away. Whether it’s for a delayed flight, or for cookies to bake, we wait.

We don’t like waiting. When things seem to take too long for our own liking, instant gratification replaces waiting, and we may take matters into our own hands. We try to make something happen because it’s often hard to accept delay. Maybe you’re afraid you’re missing out on something. Perhaps you’re tired of the lingering heartache and you think getting into another relationship right away will fill the void. You don’t know what to do with the spaces in life.

So we wait for guidance, direction, and for answers—or we don’t—and pay the consequences.

For instance, if you drive through a red stoplight, another car could careen through the intersection and hit you, harming you and wrecking your car. Or, if you start another romantic relationship without waiting on God’s timing, you’d carry the unhealed pain with you and you won’t be able to give and receive love in the most stable or emotionally healthy way possible. You may end up driving the other person away or crashing the next relationship because you are simply not ready. There are consequences of not waiting on God.

God has good reasons for delays. We may not always understand what He is doing and why, but God wants us to obey his commands—not because He is a tough taskmaster, but to protect us and guide us. In learning obedience, we also learn wisdom.

Like the wisdom of keeping your hands off the cocoon of an emerging butterfly. While you may want to help, it is not wise to pry it open for the little creature. He needs to build strength as he exits his temporary shelter or he will die. Know when to keep your hands off and trust God’s ways and timing for things to unfold.

How to wait well
God doesn’t seem to be in a hurry because He is not on our timetable, we are on His. In addition, we tend to be more focused on the results, than the process of getting there.

The truth is God is God, and we will never fully know His reasons. But we can take comfort in the fact that He is good, loving and faithful—and he is always at work, even in the dark, putting together the pieces of our lives for His good purposes.

During seasons of waiting in our lives we learn that:

Waiting is active. Waiting is more than just passing time; and it is not doing nothing. The work of waiting is believing God. Not just believing in God, but believing Him. It’s trusting and having faith that the One who delights us in giving will provide what is best for each of us.

We wait on God, not man. God had good purposes, so your waiting is not in vain. You don’t have to be afraid that God will forget. He knows your heart; He knows you want love, affection and attention. You can be confident and stand strong when it’s Him upon whom you wait. "My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken." (Psalm 62:5-6)

Waiting draws us closer to God. Enduring delay builds intimacy and a closer relationship with Him. Jerome Daley in When God Waits says, “God’s greatest purpose in seasons of waiting is to draw you close to himself, to reveal the depth of his commitment to you, and to equip you for your destiny.”

Waiting is for a purpose. God uses the seemingly dead times in our lives to heal, replenish and prepare our hearts for the next season in our lives. Think of your heart as a fallow field. Like the farmer who leaves his land crop-free for a season, your heart may feel barren or blank, but it’s only for a time. Leaving the land empty replenishes the soil and replaces the nutrients so a better, healthier crop grows the next time. In the same way, your “in the meantime” can be a time to heal and replenish your own heart land and, in time, gather a better and healthier yield in how you handle relationships—and life.

God keeps perfect time. Things unfold “in the fullness of time,” when He is ready, when circumstances are ready, or when we are ready. You can’t tell a newborn baby to run a marathon and then be disappointed when he does not. It’s not time yet. He has to grow up first, and gain strength and muscle. You can’t order a closed rosebud to “open up now!” It simply will not happen. In time the graceful flower unfolds.

Waiting is a time of healing, transformation and preparation. You do your part and God does His part. The art of waiting well begins as you learn how to live as you wait.