Thursday, January 17, 2013

Healing Emotional Pain After a Breakup or Loss

In choosing to face the night,
I took my first steps toward the sunrise.
Gerald L. Sittser

After a large loss or a breakup, sometimes it’s hard to move on. You may feel like it’s the darkest midnight in your life, but take heart: a new day, a brighter day will come again!

The next step toward getting there is emotional healing. That is, dealing with your emotions and not ignoring them.

Dealing with emotions is essential to your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. But many people don’t always want to face how they’re feeling. Here are a few reasons why: You don’t think it matters. You’re confused by how you’re feeling and you don’t know how to handle it. You know what to do, but you don’t want to go there. You fear what others will think.  Or you may feel like you’ll look weak or stupid, even to yourself.

Yet there is immense value in dealing with your stuff. While your relationship may be over, your life isn’t. It’s time to get some life back into your life!

By identifying, expressing and releasing emotions, your heart will begin to heal. Identify your emotions. What are you feeling? Sad, angry, resentful, hurt, numb…or something else? When you acknowledge that emotion to yourself (“I am feeling ____.”). Hard as it is, feel your feelings, learn to express them in healthy ways, and you will find release, freedom and peace.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every     form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31, 32


In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 56:11

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3

Whether you feel angry, rejected, fearful, or any other emotion, you can choose what you want to do with them; your feelings don’t have to control you. You can challenge false beliefs, reject lies, and choose to live in the power of God’s truth. Like the lies of: “I must have this person in order to be happy” or “I am nothing without you.” Not true!

Keep reminding yourself of the truth, because truth combats lies like light combats darkness. You matter to God, and He has unending love for you. You are the apple of his eye. He chose you. You are accepted in the Beloved. You are enough, and you are worth being loved well.

Truly, your love life matters to God. He is still in control and He is leading you on a path to good purposes.

For more on healing your heart from a relationship breakup, check out, "When Love Ends" by Jackie M. Johnson

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