A Love Lesson from "Sense and Sensibility"

I've always liked the movie, "Sense and Sensibility" based on the Jane Austen novel of the same name. Maybe it's because of the close relationship of the two sisters, which I am grateful to have in my own life.

Or, the beautiful English countryside. Or, the handsome men and how they break women's hearts. I can relate to that.

Today, I'm posting on a blog for single women called Girls Night In. Check out the link below and find out how two characters in this movie, Elinor and Marianne, reveal an important love lesson.

It's an interesting twist on our most important love relationship. Here's the post.

Enjoy!

Tired of Waiting for Love?

So you want to get married. Or, have a boyfriend or girlfriend to spend time with who’s a really good match for you. You like him, he likes you; you have a lot in common, and wow they make you feel really good when you’re with them!

If only.

Well, friend, that’s where hope comes in.

Yep, wild hope that one day—-maybe in the not too distant future-—you will meet the one you connect with best, and the one who stays. The real thing. Lasting love. We all desire it. At least most of us do. And if you do, tell God about it.

Seriously.

Tell the One who loves you most about the deepest desires of your heart. Your lack, your longings, and what you really need in a love relationship. He is the Author of the best Love Stories. He is the Author of Love.

Oh.

Here’s the thing, too. It’s about having a “harvest” mentality. It may not happen all at once. You plant your seeds (your prayers) and God grows what is best for you. You prepare and you have hope.

Prepare by becoming the person who will be well-suited for the one you meet. Because there’s what you want to GET from another and what you GIVE to the other.

Prepare by learning more about the opposite sex and how they think and feel. There are a ton of books out there to read, but you can also get to know your women friends better (or your male friends, as the case may be). Oh, the insight you will get!

A blog reader I will call S. is struggling with the same thing many of us singles struggle with—-we know God loves us, and that He has a good plan. We trust Him, but...

As she says, “it would be nice to be blessed with seeing as well as believing.”

To reader S. and to all of you, I’d say: I know. It would be nice. But keep having Hope.

Hope that God really does know what is best for you. He is not withholding something (or someone) from you; He is protecting you and saving you for His very best. We are on God’s timetable, He is not on ours. And if we trust His timing and His ways, we may just be surprised…

That is our wild hope—that God will indeed give what is best for each of us. If that includes marriage and kids, it will happen. If it means being on your own, He will take care of you.

Most likely some of you are gasping right now. “Not me! I’m not gonna be alone the rest of my life!” Again, you don’t know. So trust God for today and tomorrow.

Plant, prepare, wait, and wonder, and in all that—have a “harvest mentality” that God will grow what is good. Like the luscious, red apples ripe on the tree, when it’s time it will be time.

Harvest will come, whatever that looks like for you.

Until then, look up. Smile. Live your life. And know…He will take care of you.

Finding Love Again: Wisdom is Key

Now that you are getting over Mr. Wonderful (or Mr. Wonder-Where-He-Went) you may want to think about how you will do things differently in your next relationship.

You can be ready for love again and make healthier choices in the future by becoming a person of: wisdom, high standards, realistic expectations, integrity, love, and faith. We’ll talk about each one of these characteristics each day this week on A New Day Café blog—right here.

Making better choices in relationships begins as you think about the kind of person you want to date and how you’ll date. If you’re a person of faith, will you look for love in the world’s way or God’s way?

There is no Intro to Dating 101 section in the Bible, but we know that God desires people to treat each other with honesty, respect and honor. For one thing, that means being more other-centered and less self-centered.

It also means to be humble, be patient, bear with one another, to speak truthfully to build up others with your words, to be kind and compassionate, to forgive each other, and to live a life of love. Check out the book of Ephesians in the Bible for more about how we are to treat others—no matter who they are.

It seems wise to get to know someone first to see if you are compatible before you connect in a dating relationship. Spend time with your friends, his friends or your singles group instead of instant one-on-one time. That way you can prevent heartbreak for both parties if either of you discover you the other person is not for you after all.

Wisdom is essential making changes. Without it we do really dumb things that hurt others or ourselves. Wisdom protects, leads, guides, and gives knowledge and understanding. Wisdom gives us victory!

As you follow the path of wisdom something wonderful happens. You grow up on the inside.

When hard things happen, like a breakup, it can cause us to wise up and become more emotionally and spiritually mature.

What does that kind of person look like?

A mature person loves, accepts and respects herself. She learns to put rejection and loss in perspective, and trust the bigger picture of God’s guiding hand. She deals with issues as they come up and doesn't let them accumulate. Garbage needs to be taken out regularly, and emotional garbage needs to be processed and dumped frequently, too. She doesn't hold on to the past but clings tightly to the One who is her future and her hope: Jesus Christ.

A mature person lives in the reality of present, not the fantasy of the past or the future. She doesn’t obsess over a guy who’s dumped her for far too long or imagine herself in a white dress and veil with someone who is clearly not pursuing her.

A mature person trusts that God really does know best. And she lives what she believes. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” (James 1:22)

When you live in the light of God’s truth, you begin to feel stronger and more confident, and you become more equipped to make healthier relationship choices.