Dealing with Difficult People

 

Do you have a friend who’s an arrogant know-it-all or a spouse who nags you like a woodpecker on an oak tree? Difficult people can be in our place of work, our church or right in our own home. 

 

But you don’t have to live with hurtful words and put downs—or someone who is simply annoying.  

You have choices. 

No matter what happens or how people treat you, you can choose how you will respond. You can respond defensively and angrily, or kindly with respect and tact. You can change the subject. You can walk away. You can choose not to argue and take the high road.  

Of course, it’s natural to be offended when someone hurts our feelings, but what we do with that offense—whether we hold it inside and let it fester, or release it—makes all the difference.  

What are some lessons we can learn from Christ’s examples of how he treated people (with love, respect, and addressing the person’s true need)? How can we deal with conflict and strife from the difficult people in our lives? Here are just a few ideas:  

Love. Jesus said radical things like: Love your enemies. Human nature often wants to do the opposite. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is to “speak the truth in love²” and say the hard things, with kindness and tact, but also with boldness and truth. 

Stay calm. James 3:18 reads, “Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” You can choose to be a person of peace despite your circumstances.  

Keep perspective. Hurting people hurt other people. The annoying person in the cubicle next to you may have issues in his life you know nothing about. But, past pain in someone else’s life doesn’t excuse bad behavior in yours. Knowing that may help you to better deal with the situation since often the problem is not about you, it’s about them.  

Communicate with tact.  Don’t blame or accuse, instead say, “When you (describe their action), I feel (describe how you feel). “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).  Of course, there are times when, despite your best efforts you may need to leave the room and handle the situation another time so anger can diffuse.  

Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”  

Pray. Most importantly, pray for the person who’s annoying you, and for grace and strength in your response. Your prayers are powerful and effective! Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  

Coping with difficult people is part of life. It isn’t always easy, but God will be your strength to help you overcome and deal with that person in your office or your living room who’s not the easiest person to be around.  

Pray about your challenges. Give them to God, and ask for wisdom, healing and hope. Then watch what happens.  

You just might be surprised.  

 

For more about dealing with difficult people,

see Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times by Jackie M. Johnson.

 

 

Finding Joy Despite Trials

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2–3

Life can be hard sometimes. Whatever you are going through, God knows. He sees. He cares. And He is more than willing and able to help you through!

With God, we are overcomers! Here's a short prayer for today:

"Lord, it’s hard for me to think that something good can come from these challenges. Yet, despite my circumstances, you lift me up to a place of joy! Joy in my trials? Only you can make it happen. You, who shines your love like light into my gray, cloudy heart. Thank you. In times of testing, temptation or total disarray, I need your persevering power. I believe that together we will make it through. In Jesus’s name. Amen."

May today be the day of your breakthrough! Keep on believing. Your day will come.

 

Standing Strong in Tough Times

Life can be hard at times. Maybe your kids are screaming, and they just won't seem to settle down. Or, you can’t find a job—and you’ve been out of work for months. Could it be that someone you love just left you and you're brokenhearted? Do you have an illness or injury? Or, an ache in your heart wondering if you are dating or just friends with someone you care about?

 

Whatever the situation, you can find HOPE despite your circumstances.

 

To stand strong in challenging times, we need a solid foundation. When we ask, God will build support into our lives so that when the winds of change and challenge blow we won’t topple like the fragile houses of the three little pigs.

 

We will stand strong.

 

Consider what happens when builders construct a skyscraper. In order for the building to be tall and not tumble, the workers first dig a foundation and then pound steel reinforcing rods called pylons deep into the earth. Concrete is then poured into the shaft with the pylons for a super-strong hold.

The same can be true in your life.

As you grow deeper, you grow stronger in your faith. As you immerse yourself in the ways and wisdom of God, the truth (like pylons of hope, trust, courage, and faith), helps you become stronger.

So when your life is spiraling downward or you’re overcome with loneliness, you will be able to withstand more readily the gale-force winds of hard times and pain.

Steel upon steel, story upon story, a structure is built. Likewise, God’s Word tells us that hope comes step by step as “…suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom. 5:3–4).

Press in to God’s strength and He will help you do what you cannot do on your own. There is hope ahead. And we’re on the way to finding it.

For more about finding hope in hard times,

see Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times (Revell/Baker Publishing Group) by Jackie M. Johnson

When You Feel Like Giving Up: 5 Helpful Ways to Get Through Hard Times

 

 

Life can be hard. How do you press on when you’re emotionally or physically drained? When times are tough, and when you feel like giving up, here are five vital things to help you persevere with God’s strength:  

1) Cast your cares. Don't take on burdens you were never meant to bear—like worry, fear and doubt. They’ll weigh you down and hinder you from being effective. Instead, give God your fears; surrender trying to do it all on your own to Him. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”  

2) Believe that God will help you. Did you know that God not only loves you—and He LIKES you? But some people find it hard to believe God will actually help them, and the weight of the world on their shoulders is crushing. They think He doesn’t care, or He’s too busy being CEO of the entire universe to be concerned about their unhappy life. Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

In fact, God loves you. And he likes you. Despite your feelings of insecurity, inadequacy or other emotion you’re ashamed of, God is all about loving you. You are not alone; help is available and it’s a prayer away.  

3) Press on in prayer. Prayer is the foundation upon which everything else is built in your life. It the most important thing you can do. Talk to God about your situation, because He is the one who has the power to change it.

 

4) Send in reinforcements. Sometimes you need backup. It’s amazing what happens when you receive support in prayer from friends and family members who are willing to pray for you and with you. When you don’t know what to pray, when you’re spent emotionally or physically, or, like Moses, when you need someone to “hold up your arms” (to support you), the prayers of others on your behalf can give you a boost to keep going.  

5) Take action. Taking one small step can lead to another and another and it builds momentum, and things begin to change. You will not be in this hard place forever. God will help you through. Unlike others who may have let you down, God keeps His promises. When you take action in prayer, He moves on your behalf.  

There are still purposes to be fulfilled—lives to touch, things to accomplish, and character to be formed on the inside. Press on, pray on, with holy tenacity, holding on to hope that one day—maybe soon—the check will come, the job will be yours, or the house will be filled with a child’s laughter. 

Whatever it is you long for, tell God your heart’s desires and He will answer.

 

Whether it’s a “yes,” “no,” or “wait,” know that the One who loves you most is working all things together for His good purposes. We may not always understand or like it, but we can know with certainty that one day everything will be made right.

Today, we pray and trust Him.

 

 

 

Coming Out of the Dark: Dare to HOPE

 

Where I live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, sunrise can be spectacular.

The first light of day crawls across the eastern plains, increasing in brightness to reveal—like footlights on a stage—the splendor of the majestic snow-capped Pikes Peak.

The sun bids the darkness farewell, and the earth awakens. It is a fresh start; a new day.
 
Perhaps you feel like you’ve been living in the dark for some time. Or emotionally sleepwalking, going through the motions of life, but you’re not fully aware or awake on the inside. You may be physically present but not engaging conversationally with people or with life.

You don’t really want to wake up on the inside because you don’t want to feel the pain and it’s just easier to numb out. Your circumstances still seem dark so maybe you think it’s only natural to sleep on the inside.

But now, it’s time to get up. 

Choosing to have hope is a “one prayer at a time; one choice at a time” path that leads to a more whole and healthier attitude and life. You start out by taking your first steps.

As you walk on, roadblocks may come your way, but you navigate obstacles with God’s help. As you choose to follow and keep following, you learn to listen and obey God’s words, and take action.
 
You also have a sense of destination that you’re on your way to a better place—the abundant life—the rich, full life Jesus promised us in John 10:10, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  

The abundant life is not about accumulating stuff, it’s learning to walk in victory, not being a victim to circumstances, and finding satisfaction and joyful confidence because you know who you are and Whose you are.

By taking one step, and then another and another, you leave the old place of brokenness and rubble and walk with FAITH not fear into the future.

Fresh hope delivered daily

Every morning the sun rises; every day the Lord delivers fresh hope. Despite the discouragement and difficulties, you can look back at all God has done in the past in other areas of your life—how He’s kept His promises and has been faithful to keep his word—and you can look forward with hope for good things to come in the future.

A new sunrise, and bright hope.

“Yet this I call to mind
     and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
     for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
     great is your faithfulness.”             

       Lamentations 3:21-23

 

 

 

Standing Strong in Hard Times

Standing strong in hard times isn’t just for other people. You can be an overcomer! You may feel like you’re living in a black and white world, but God wants to bring back the living color.

 

As you learn to believe God and bask in His presence, you’ll discover wild hope—hope beyond your wildest imagination. When life tries to drag you down, you make new choices and keep telling yourself the truth.

 

Basking in His presence

You can tell yourself the truth in many ways. When you read the Bible, God’s truth in written form, consider reading the words out loud. When you pray—which is talking with God—you might choose to speak out loud instead of praying silently to yourself.

 

Or, write your prayers in a journal or notebook. Remember and record the good things He’s done, and how He’s come through for you in the past.

 

Read the Psalms for healing words of hope in hard times and discouragement. Like Psalm 32:7, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

 

Remember that the Lord really just wants to spend time with you. He wants you to linger, to “hang out,” to bask.

 

Think of the most beautiful full moon you’ve seen. Perhaps it’s a harvest moon hanging low in the October night sky. The moon reflects the light of the sun because it has “basked” in its brightness. And in the dark of night it shines brightly.

 

Likewise, as we bask in the light of the Son, Jesus Christ—as we spend time abiding—His light will shine brighter through us.

 

Having wild hope

Wild hope means hoping anyways, even when you feel you haven’t got a chance. It is daring to believe that God will come through for you even in your toughest times.

 

You never know where help will come from. It just may surprise you who (or what) God will use to bring relief to your situation. It may be something tangible like a hug from a friend or an unexpected check in the mail. Liberation may come from acceptance of the situation, or from forgiving someone who’s wronged you.

 

Believe God, bask in His presence, and pray, expecting things to change. Then, one day you will begin to feel something unusual: joy. Darkness begins to flee as the sunshine of hope rises in your heart like the dawn of a new day.

 

Dare to believe that the One who can do anything is at work even now restoring you and rebuilding your life.

 

Casting Your Cares

 

How do you press on when you’re emotionally or physically drained? Rest when you need to, and take care of yourself so you can be your best to help others and live your own life well.

 

When times are tough, here are some vital things to help you persevere with God’s strength:

1) Cast your cares. Don’t take on burdens you were never meant to bear—like worry, fear and doubt. They’ll weigh you down and hinder you from being effective. Instead, give God your fears; surrender trying to do it all on your own to Him. In other words, like a fishing line, “cast your cares, and don’t reel them back in again.”

 

Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

2) Press on in prayer. Prayer is the foundation upon which everything else is built in your life. It the most important thing you can do. You may think, “I’ve already prayed, what other solutions are there?” Keep on praying. Talk to God about your situation, because He has the power to change it.

 

Ask God for discernment. Speak freely and openly about how you feel and what you need. Thank Him for what He’s done already in your life and expect Him to answer. As you pray, believe God is working and stand in the strength you receive.

3) Send in reinforcements. Sometimes you need backup. It’s amazing what happens when you receive support in prayer from friends and family members who are willing to pray for you and with you.

 

When you don’t know what to pray, when you’re spent emotionally or physically, or, like Moses, when you need someone to “hold up your arms” (to support you), the prayers of others on your behalf can give you a boost to keep going.

4) Take action. Taking one small step can lead to another and another and it builds momentum, and things begin to change.

 

You will not be in this hard place forever. God will help you through. Unlike others who may have let you down, God keeps His promises. When you take action in prayer, He moves on your behalf.

 

For more about finding help in hard times, see PowerfulPrayers for Challenging Times by Jackie M. Johnson

 

Standing Strong in Tough Times

To stand strong in challenging times, we need a solid foundation. When we ask, God will build into our lives support, so when the winds of change and challenge blow we won’t topple like the fragile houses of the Three Little Pigs. We will stand strong. 

Consider what happens when builders are constructing a skyscraper. In order for the building to be tall and not tumble, the workers first dig a foundation and then pound steel reinforcing rods called pylons deep into the earth. Concrete is then poured into the shaft with the pylons for a super-strength hold.

The same can be true in your life—as you grow deeper, you grow stronger in your faith. As you immerse yourself in the ways and wisdom of God, the reinforced truth, like pylons of Hope, Trust, Courage and Faith, help you become stronger. So when your life is spiraling downward or you’re overcome with loneliness, you will be able to withstand more readily the gale-force winds of hard times and pain.

Steel upon steel, story upon story a structure is built. Likewise, God’s Word tells us that hope comes step by step as “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3,

There is hope ahead. And we’re on the way to finding it.

Excerpted from PowerfulPrayers for Challenging Times by Jackie M. Johnson

Pressing On!

Perseverance

 

Lord, so many times I am tempted to give up. Life is just too hard, and I cannot do it on my own. Please give me the inner strength to keep on gong. I long to do your will. Fortify me, Lord. Thank you for keeping your promises--all of them, all the time. I trust you for your help, hope and healing as we walk through this life together. In Jesus' name. Amen.

 

 

From "Powerful Prayers for Challenging Times" by Jackie M. Johnson